The Golden Fleece

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''RING RING'' You wake to the sound of your hellish ringtone. You glance over at your alarm clock. It reads: <div align="center"> //3:37AM// </div> Do you answer the phone? [[Yes->answer]] [[No->dontanswer]]

It is the morning. What do you want to do? <<silently>> <<set $time to 1>> <<set $day to $day + 1>> <</silently>> <<options>> /* Investment stuff */ <<set _bbproll to random(1, 2)>> <<set _bgcroll to random (0, 100)>> <<if def $fakeblockinvested>> <<set $fakeblockinvested to $fakeblockinvested + ($fakeblockinvested * 0.05)>> <</if>> <<if def $bbpetroleuminvested>> <<if _bbproll is 1>> <<set $bbpetroleuminvested to $bbpetroleuminvested + ($bbpetroleuminvested * 0.1)>> <<elseif _bbproll is 2>> <<set $bbpetroleuminvested to $bbpetroleuminvested - ($bbpetroleuminvested * 0.1)>> <</if>> <</if>> <<if def $bigcoininvested>> <<if _bbproll is 1>> <<set $bigcoininvested to $bigcoininvested + _bgcroll>> <<elseif _bbproll is 2>> <<set $bigcoininvested to $bigcoininvested - _bgcroll>> <</if>> <</if>>

It is the afternoon. What do you want to do? <<set $time to 2>> <<options>>

It is the evening. What do you want to do? <<set $time to 3>> <<options>>

Today's the day. You're going to get //The Golden Fleece// back once and for all, and this time you're staying with your mom in Chicago after. It's clear that they both need your protection. [[You take a deep breath and set your plan in motion.->pickdiversion]]

<<silently>> <<set $day to 7>> <<set $time to 1>> <<set $money to 1500>> <<set $reputation to 0>> <<set $firepower to 0>> <<set $heistpower to 1>> <<set $stuff to []>> <<set $crew to ["you"]>> <<set $fakeblockinvestamount to 0>> <<set $bbpetroleuminvestamount to 0>> <<set $bigcoininvestamount to 0>> <<set $unreadpassages to ["firstcalljack", "firstsearchstreets"]>> <<set $unreadevents to ["oldman", "straydog", "leroy", "britishdrone", "bazooka", "slots", "cathyena", "manager", "biggestfan"]>> <</silently>> ''RING RING'' [[...->wake up]]

<> /* This passage dictates what goes in the sidebar; right now it's day (of the week), time (general), money, influence, firepower, and your possessions. */ <<if $day is 1>> Day: Monday <<elseif $day is 2>> Day: Tuesday <<elseif $day is 3>> Day: Wednesday <<elseif $day is 4>> Day: Thursday <<elseif $day is 5>> Day: Friday <<elseif $day is 6>> Day: Saturday <<elseif $day is 7>> Day: Sunday <<elseif $day > 7>> The day of the heist <<else>> <<set $day to 1>> Day: Monday <</if>> <> <> <<if $time is 1>> Time: Morning <<elseif $time is 2>> Time: Afternoon <<elseif $time is 3>> Time: Evening <<else>> <<set $time to 1>> Time: Morning <</if>> <> <> <<if $money > 0>> Money: $<<print $money>> <<else>> <<set $money to 0>> Money: $<<print $money>> <</if>> <> <> <<if $reputation > 15>> Reputation: Godlike <<elseif $reputation > 10>> Reputation: Good <<elseif $reputation > 5>> Reputation: Okay <<elseif $reputation > 0>> Reputation: Irrelevant <<elseif $reputation is 0>> Reputation: Who? <<else>> <<set $reputation to 0>> Reputation: Who? <</if>> <> <> <<if $firepower > 15>> Firepower: Deadly <<elseif $firepower > 10>> Firepower: Lots <<elseif $firepower > 5>> Firepower: Some <<elseif $firepower > 0>> Firepower: Little <<elseif $firepower is 0>> Firepower: None <<else>> <<set $firepower to 0>> Firepower: None <</if>> <> Chance of heist success: <<print ($heistpower * 2) + ($firepower * 2) + ($crew.length * 1) + ($reputation * 2) + "%">> <<if $stuff.length is 0>> Stuff: nothing <<else>> Stuff: $stuff <</if>> Crew: $crew

/* This is the 'widget' passage, where you can define customized methods to call later. */ /*This is the menu through which the player will make their day-to-day choices. It makes more sense to contain it all in one place than in three.*/ <<widget "options">> <<if $day < 8>> [[Try to make some money->trytomakesomemoney]] [[Work a shift at the soup kitchen->soupkitchen]] [[Buy a gun->gunstore]] <> <<if $unreadpassages.includes("firstcalljack")>> [[Call in some underworld connections->firstcalljack]] <</if>> <> /* <> <<if $unreadpassages.includes("firstsearchstreets")>> [[Start searching for anyone connected to the theft->firstsearchstreets]] <</if>> <>*/ <> <<if $knowgoonslocation is true>> [[Go to Moscow Bar to find some goons->moscow]] <</if>> <> <> <<if $knowthieveslocation is true>> [[Go to Bucharest Beerhall to find some thieves->bucharest]] <</if>> <> <<whatsnext "Do nothing">> [[Start the heist early->beginend]] <<elseif $day > 7>> [[Get ready->beginend]] <<else>> <</if>> <</widget>> /* This should be called every time you end an event. It'll then lead to the appropriate time, with the chance of leading to a random event first. Make sure to call it with an argument (like <<whatsnext "Hmm">>; this will turn the link text into your argument. */ <<widget "whatsnext">> <> <<silently>> <<set _roll to random(1, 10)>> <</silently>> <<if _roll is 5 && $unreadevents.length > 1>> [[$args[0]->randomevent]] <<else>> <<if $day > 7>> [[$args[0]->beginend]] <<elseif $time is 1>> [[$args[0]->whatsnext_afternoon]] <<elseif $time is 2>> [[$args[0]->whatsnext_evening]] <<elseif $time is 3>> [[$args[0]->whatsnext_morning]] <<else>> [[$args[0]->whatsnext_morning]] <</if>> <</if>> <> <</widget>>

<<if $unreadevents.length < 1>> <<whatsnext "...">> <<else>> <<silently>> <<set _roll to random(1, $unreadevents.length)>> <</silently>> While going about your business, something out of the ordinary happens. <> <<if _roll is 1>> <<run $unreadevents.delete("oldman")>> [[...->oldman]] <<elseif _roll is 2>> <<run $unreadevents.delete("straydog")>> [[...->straydog]] <<elseif _roll is 3>> <<run $unreadevents.delete("leroy")>> [[...->leroy]] <<elseif _roll is 4>> <<run $unreadevents.delete("britishdrone")>> [[...->britishdrone]] <<elseif _roll is 5>> <<run $unreadevents.delete("bazooka")>> [[...->bazooka]] <<elseif _roll is 6>> <<run $unreadevents.delete("slots")>> [[...->slots]] <<elseif _roll is 7>> <<run $unreadevents.delete("cathyena")>> [[...->cathyena]] <<elseif _roll is 8>> <<run $unreadevents.delete("manager")>> [[...->manager]] <<elseif _roll is 9>> <<run $unreadevents.delete("biggestfan")>> [[...->biggestfan]] <</if>> <> <</if>>

You rush over to the elderly man, narrowly avoiding getting hit by a car yourself. You help him to his feet and retrieve his walker for him. He gives you a toothless smile, and wheezes "Thanks, sonny. Time for a drink!" You watch as he hobbles over to the nearest liquor store. Your reputation improves, but you try not think about this encounter as you go about the rest of your day. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 2>>

You leave him be; traffic is pretty slow around these parts anyway. You don't give it another thought as you continue walking. Your reputation goes down a little. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation - 1>>

It's your mom, and she is crying. You are hungover and trying to speak but nothing is coming out. You get out of bed for a quick glass of water as you wait for her to say something, but she just keeps sobbing. What do you say to her? [[Mom, slow down. What's wrong?->momconvo]] [[It's 3am...->momconvo]]

You slip back into a peaceful sleep. You’re a sheep in a green field full of grass. The sun shines down on your back and everything is beautiful. But then you hear it. It creeps up on you like a butcher with a meat cleaver. Your ringtone cuts through the night. You’re awake again. [[Ugh, fine->answer]]

“//The Golden Fleece//. It’s gone, and they left a note saying that if they don’t get $10000 within a week, they’re going to burn the painting.” She keeps sobbing. "Who's they?" you ask, even though you already know. Giuseppe, your ex-step-father. It had to have been him - he probably wanted it back so he could sell it off to some art collector to fund some war project overseas. You think back to your last day in Chicago, 10 long years ago… [[...->flashback]]

//“Okay, go for it.” Leroy helps you lift the painting off of the wall. “Wow,” he says, “it’s even more beautiful up close.” “Come on,” Janette says, leading the way out the door. “We’ve only got five minutes until the alarm system comes back on.” Y’all hustle back to the car, scaling walls and shit. You make it with one minute to spare. Janette puts the key in the ignition and you zoom away from the scene of the crime, alarms blaring behind you. You let out a sigh of relief, knowing how happy your mom is going to be to finally have ''The Golden Fleece'' back from your miserable stepfather Giuseppe. [[Phew, glad that's over->mom convo 2]] [[What are we stealing next?->mom convo 2]]//

Your mom’s sobs bring you back to reality. “I’m gonna get it back for you, mom,” you say. “I’m gonna bring your baby home.” “No,” she scolds you. “You only have to stay out of the country for one more week, remember? One week and the statute of limitations for your last theft expires. Don't break my heart.” [[I don't care->mom convo 3]] [[That's a good point->mom convo 3]]

You briefly consider her pleas, but quickly realize that this is something that you have to do. “I'm sorry mom, I have to do this,” you say. “I’ll be in Chicago by tomorrow.” You hang up the phone and buy a plane ticket online immediately. It’s not cheap, but these are dire circumstances. 'Hasn't Giuseppe done enough to this family?' you think to yourself. He's gonna pay for this one. [[Fly to Chicago][$money to $money - 1000]]

You land in Shit-cago. It smells exactly the same way as you remember; like hot ass-phalt, cherry blossoms, and piss. Time is very precious. You only have one week before //The Golden Fleece//'s captors destroy it, and the traffic in Chicago makes it so you can only complete around three major tasks per day. Travelling often takes time, so be decisive. There are many ways you can prevent the demise of //The Golden Fleece//, but each of them will require that you use your time wisely. [[...->whatsnext_afternoon]] <<set $day to 1>> <<set $time to 2>>

“Hey, Jack-ass. It’s me,” you say. ... ... ... The other side of the line is silent for a whole three minutes and thirty three seconds: Jack’s trademark to figure out whether the person on the other end of the line is # a robot # a cop, or # not worth talking to. Finally, there’s a voice on the other side. “I thought you were dead. Tell me what’s up.” [[Ask about hiring goons->jackgoons][$goonbarknown to true]] [[Ask about hiring thieves->jackthieves][$thiefbarknown to true]] <<run $unreadpassages.delete("firstcalljack")>>

You open up your computer and search for ways to make money quickly. Not surprisingly, it doesn't seem like there are that many legitimate ways to make a huge amount of money within a week. The only methods that you find are investing and going back to your old job as a chef at the Blintze. Giancarlo's words still resonate in the back of your head; "Whenever you need work, kid, lemme know. You're always welcome here, no questions asked." Then again, there are always the less legitimate methods that you're familiar with as well... [[Invest some money or check investments->invest]] [[Go to the Blintze to work a shift->gotoblintze]] [[Sell drugs->finddrugstosell]] [[Rob a store->findstoretorob]] /* Don't take this out of the unreadpassages array; you should be able to return to this whenever. */

<<run $unreadpassages.delete("firstsearchstreets")>>

“You want me to call up shooters? Haha, you know you’ve been gone a long time... Someone might remember who you are, but you’ll have to jog their memory before they do anything for you. The best way to do that in this town is outdrink the big guys, know what I mean? Yeah, anyway. Head to ''Moscow'' tonight. No, not the city, the club. Tell them you’re on my guestlist. You should be able to see someone. From there, you’re on your own, though. Bring a gun. And let me know how it goes, y’know, if someone doesn’t shoot you dead. Anything else?” <<if not $knowthieveslocation is true>> [[Ask about thieves->jackthieves]] <</if>> [[No->firstcalljackend]] <<set $knowgoonslocation to true>>

Jack laughs bitterly. "Back on your old shit, huh? Some things never change. All the big squads have split up since you've been gone; if you wanna get a job done, you're gonna have to build a team yourself. In case you've forgotten, every job needs a cat burglar, techie, and driver. Bucharest Beerhall seems to attract a lot of slimeballs, so I'd say that's a good place to start. Just keep an eye on your wallet. Anything else?" <<if not $knowgoonslocation is true>> [[Ask about goons->jackgoons]] <</if>> [[No->firstcalljackend]] <<set $knowthieveslocation to true>>

"Good." The receiever clicks. <<whatsnext "...">>

While walking down the street, you see an old man attempting to jaywalk. He waits until traffic lightens up a bit, then goes to cross the street. While doing this, his walker gets caught on a pothole, and he falls prone in the middle of the road. What do you do? [[Run over and help him->helpoldman]] [[Keep walking - he shouldn't have been jaywalking anyway->donthelpoldman]]

If your good-for-nothing stepfather taught you anything, it's how to pull of a heist. Every good heist needs three things to ensure its success; a diversion, the heist itself, and a getaway. A diversion will detract the public from what's about to go down and occupy the cops so it takes longer for them to reach the scene of the crime. How will you keep them busy? <<if $crew.length gt 1>> [[Get your goons to rob Silverman Sacks, the biggest bank in town, and incidentally the business Giuseppe has a 30% stake in.->robsquad]] <</if>> [[Rally all of Giuseppe's ex-girlfriends to storm his mansion and occupy his lackeys.->rageoftheplastics]] <<if $reputation > 10>> [[One of your crew acquired 10,000 rubber ducks in their extreme couponing days. The ducks have been imprisoned in a storage locker on the outskirts of town for years, because no bathtub is big enough to fit 10,000 ducks. It's time for their release.->releasetheducks]] <</if>>

You see a stray dog on the side of the road that seems to be feverishly digging at something. What do you do? [[See what it's digging at->helpdog]] [[Call animal control->animalcontrol]]

You go over to the dog. "What is it, boy?" you ask. It seems to ignore you and keeps digging. You peer into the hole it has fashioned out of the ground and see something glimmering in the ground. You crouch down to pick it up and realize that it is a gold bar. What a find! You immediately sell it for $1000. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $money to $money + 1000>>

You call animal control and alert them to the presence of the stray dog. They thank you for your help and send $5 to your bank account as thanks. Your reputation goes up a little as well. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $money to $money + 5>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>>

You go to your bank, Standard Dominion, to invest some of your money. You wait in line for a couple minutes, then get redirected to an investment manager, Stephanie. "Hi there," she says. "We've recently overhauled our investment program - now, all your investments are infinitely scalable, no matter how much or how little money you decide to put into the program. However, you can only hold one investment of each company at a time. This means that if you want to invest more money somewhere, you'll have to withdraw your previous investment first. Here are the current available investment options. * Fakeblock: tech conglomerate. Extremely safe investment that will give you 5% returns every day. * BB Petroleum: oil company. A somewhat risky investment, as this investment will either give you a 10% return or 10% loss on your investment each day. * Bigcoin: cryptocurrency. An extremely volatile investment that could either disappear or make you rich overnight." What do you want to do? <> <<if $fakeblockinvestamount is 0>> [[Invest in Fakeblock->fakeblock]] <</if>> <> <> <<if $bbpetroleuminvestamount is 0>> [[Invest in BB Petroleum->bbpetroleum]] <</if>> <> <> <<if $bigcoininvestamount is 0>> [[Invest in Bigcoin->bigcoin]] <</if>> <> [[Check my investments->checkinvestments]] <<whatsnext "Leave">>

You head over to the Blintze. Its copper doors and neon sign welcome you. They haven't changed one bit since you've been here last. As soon as you enter the door, you hear Giancarlo's booming voice addressing you from across the restaurant. "How's it going, kid? Long time no see! Looking for work?" [[Yes->dowork]] [[No->dontwork]]

You go to the old spot on the corner of Smallwood Drive and Snare Avenue. You knock on the door and wait a minute or so; no answer. It's been a long time, and you figure that any number of things could've happened to Twizzler. As you turn around to leave, you hear a door open and feel someone pull you inside by the back of your collar. "You know that's the most suspicious way to let someone into your house, right?" you ask after shaking Twizzler off. "Yeah, yeah," he says nonchalantly. "But it's the safest." "Whatever," you reply. "What do you have for me?" "Straight to the point as always," Twizzler says, walking over to his stash in his closet. "Take a look. I've got * weed - low profits but practically legal. You can buy grams for $5 and sell 'em for $10. There's about a 1 in 100 chance of the deal going south. * ecstasy - medium profits but less safe. You can buy grams for $15 and sell 'em for $50. There's about a 1 in 10 chance of the deal going south. * cocaine - high profits but pretty risky. You can buy grams for $30 and sell 'em for $120. There's about a 1 in 5 chance of the deal going south. Demand is high, so it doesn't matter how much or how little you get - there'll always be a buyer. What'll it be?" [[Buy weed->weed]] [[Buy ecstasy->ecstasy]] [[Buy cocaine->cocaine]] <<whatsnext "Leave">>

<<set _roll to random(1, 10 + $firepower * 2)>> <<set $moneystolen to random(100, 300)>> <<if _roll > 10>> You pull up to a random convenience store. You yell at the clerk to put transfer the money from the cash register to your bag. <<if $firepower is 0>> You threaten that you have a gun even though you don't actually have one. Luckily, the clerk doesn't call your bluff and simply gives you the money. <<elseif $firepower > 0>> You brandish your weapon at the clerk. They cower in fear and give you the money. <</if>> You steal $<<print $moneystolen>> from the store, and your reputation goes up. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $money to $money + $moneystolen>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 2>> <<else>> You pull up to a random convenience store. You yell at the clerk to put transfer the money from the cash register to your bag. <<if $firepower is 0>> You threaten that you have a gun even though you don't actually have one. The clerk calls your bluff and calls the police immediately. They catch you. <<elseif $firepower > 0>> You brandish your weapon at the clerk. "I'm not afraid of you!" they yell before you shoot them in the face. The police come and lock you up. <</if>> You are fined $100, and your reputation goes down. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $money to $money - 100>> <<set $reputation to $reputation - 2>> <</if>>

Giancarlo laughs heartily. "That's what I like to hear!" he says as he effortlessly balances five full plates of food with his two hands, delivering them to their respective tables. "There's a spare uniform in the kitchen," he says as he passes you by. [[Get cookin'->finishwork][$money to $money + 60]]

"Ahh, of course. On to bigger and better things, I see," Giancarlo says with a knowing glint in his eye. "Well, if you're not going to do any work, get on out of here then!" You bid him farewell and leave the restaurant. <<whatsnext "...">>

You work for four hours, earning $60. Your reputation improves a bit as well. "See you later, Giancarlo," you say as you head out the door. "Bye!" he calls back. "Come back soon! The customers suffer when you're not here." <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>>

"Okay, great," Stephanie says. "How much money would you like to put into Fakeblock?" <<textbox "$fakeblockinvestamount" "0">> [[This much->bankerrorcheck][$fakeblockinvestamount to Number($fakeblockinvestamount)]] [[Changed my mind->invest]] <<set $wanttobuy to "fakeblock">>

"Okay, great," Stephanie says. "How much money would you like to put into BB Petroleum?" <<textbox "$bbpetroleuminvestamount" "0">> [[This much->bankerrorcheck][$bbpetroleuminvestamount to Number($bbpetroleuminvestamount)]] [[Changed my mind->invest]] <<set $wanttobuy to "bbpetroleum">>

"Okay, great," Stephanie says. "How much money would you like to put into Bigcoin?" <<textbox "$bigcoininvestamount" "0">> [[This much->bankerrorcheck][$bigcoininvestamount to Number($bigcoininvestamount)]] [[Changed my mind->invest]] <<set $wanttobuy to "bigcoin">>

"Of course," says Stephanie as she brings up your account. <> <<if $fakeblockinvestamount > 0>> "You originally invested $<<print $fakeblockinvestamount>> in Fakeblock. It is now worth $<<print $fakeblockinvested>>." <<else>> "You have nothing invested in Fakeblock." <</if>> <> <> <<if $bbpetroleuminvestamount > 0>> "You originally invested $<<print $bbpetroleuminvestamount>> in BB Petroleum. It is now worth $<<print $bbpetroleuminvested>>." <<else>> "You have nothing invested in BB Petroleum." <</if>> <> <> <<if $bigcoininvestamount > 0>> You originally invested $<<print $bigcoininvestamount>> in Bigcoin. It is now worth $<<print $bigcoininvested>>. <<else>> "You have nothing invested in Bigcoin." <</if>> <> Would you like to withdraw any investments? <> <<if $fakeblockinvestamount > 0>> [[Withdraw Fakeblock investment->withdrawfakeblock]] <</if>> <> <> <<if $bbpetroleuminvestamount > 0>> [[Withdraw BB Petroleum investment->withdrawbbpetroleum]] <</if>> <> <> <<if $bigcoininvestamount > 0>> [[Withdraw Bigcoin investment->withdrawbigcoin]] <</if>> <> [[No->invest]] <<whatsnext "Leave">>

"Okay," she says, "You've invested $<<print $fakeblockinvestamount>> in Fakeblock." [[Invest in something else->invest]] [[Check your investments->checkinvestments]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $fakeblockinvested to $fakeblockinvestamount>> <<set $fakeblockinvestamount to Number($fakeblockinvestamount)>> <<set $fakeblockinvested to Number($fakeblockinvested)>> <<set $money to $money - $fakeblockinvested>> <<set $fakeblockdaybought to $day>>

"Okay," she says, "You've invested $<<print $bbpetroleuminvestamount>> in BB Petroleum." [[Invest in something else->invest]] [[Check your investments->checkinvestments]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $bbpetroleuminvested to $bbpetroleuminvestamount>> <<set $bbpetroleuminvestamount to Number($bbpetroleuminvestamount)>> <<set $bbpetroleuminvested to Number($bbpetroleuminvested)>> <<set $money to $money - $bbpetroleuminvested>> <<set $bbpetroleumdaybought to $day>>

"Okay," she says, "You've invested $<<print $bigcoininvestamount>> in Bigcoin." [[Invest in something else->invest]] [[Check your investments->checkinvestments]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $bigcoininvested to $bigcoininvestamount>> <<set $bigcoininvestamount to Number($bigcoininvestamount)>> <<set $bigcoininvested to Number($bigcoininvested)>> <<set $money to $money - $bigcoininvested>> <<set $bigcoindaybought to $day>>

"Here you go," Stephanie says as she hands you your funds. "Anything else?" she asks. [[Check my investments->checkinvestments]] [[Invest->invest]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money + $fakeblockinvested>> <<set $fakeblockinvested to 0>> <<set $fakeblockinvestamount to 0>>

"Here you go," Stephanie says as she hands you your funds. "Anything else?" she asks. [[Check my investments->checkinvestments]] [[Invest->invest]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money + $bbpetroleuminvested>> <<set $bbpetroleuminvested to 0>> <<set $bbpetroleuminvestamount to 0>>

"Here you go," Stephanie says as she hands you your funds. "Anything else?" she asks. [[Check my investments->checkinvestments]] [[Invest->invest]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money + $bigcoininvested>> <<set $bigcoininvested to 0>> <<set $bigcoininvestamount to 0>>

You head over to the gun store. Becky, the owner, greets you as you walk in. "Who are we shootin' today?" she asks. What do you want to buy? <> <<if not $stuff.includes("pistol")>> [[Buy a pistol for $100->gunstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "pistol"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $stuff.includes("shotgun")>> [[Buy a shotgun $200->gunstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "shotgun"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $stuff.includes("assault rifle")>> [[Buy an assault rifle for $500->gunstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "assaultrifle"]] <</if>> <> <<whatsnext "Leave">>

"Sure," Twizzler says. "How many grams of weed do you want?" <<textbox "$gramsofweed" "0">> [[This many->drugserrorcheck][$gramsofweed to Number($gramsofweed)]] [[Changed my mind->finddrugstosell]] <<set $wanttobuy to "weed">>

"Sure," Twizzler says. "How many grams of ecstasy do you want?" <<textbox "$gramsofecstasy" "0">> [[This many->drugserrorcheck][$gramsofecstasy to Number($gramsofecstasy)]] [[Changed my mind->finddrugstosell]] <<set $wanttobuy to "ecstasy">>

"Sure," Twizzler says. "How many grams of cocaine do you want?" <<textbox "$gramsofcocaine" "0">> [[This many->drugserrorcheck][$gramsofcocaine to Number($gramsofcocaine)]] [[Changed my mind->finddrugstosell]] <<set $wanttobuy to "cocaine">>

"Alrighty," he says, handing you $gramsofweed grams of weed. "I sent you the directions to the spot on your phone - I know you're bad with directions." [[Make the delivery->deliverweed]] <<set $gramsofweed to Number($gramsofweed)>> <<set $stuff.push("weed")>> <<set $money to $money - ($gramsofweed * 5)>>

"Alrighty," he says, handing you $gramsofecstasy grams of ecstasy. "I sent you the directions to the spot on your phone - I know you're bad with directions." [[Make the delivery->deliverecstasy]] <<set $gramsofweed to Number($gramsofecstasy)>> <<set $stuff.push("ecstasy")>> <<set $money to $money - ($gramsofecstasy * 15)>>

"Alrighty," he says, handing you $gramsofcocaine grams of cocaine. "I sent you the directions to the spot on your phone - I know you're bad with directions." [[Make the delivery->delivercocaine]] <<set $gramsofcocaine to Number($gramsofcocaine)>> <<set $stuff.push("cocaine")>> <<set $money to $money - ($gramsofcocaine * 30)>>

<<if $wanttobuy is "fakeblock">> <<if isNaN($fakeblockinvestamount)>> Stephanie looks at you confused. "Sorry, how much?" [[...->fakeblock]] <<elseif $money < $fakeblockinvestamount>> "Um," Stephanie says as she looks at your account. "You don't have enough money to do that." [[Invest->invest]] [[Check your investments->checkinvestments]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<else>> [[Processing payment...->buyfakeblock]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "bbpetroleum">> <<if isNaN($bbpetroleuminvestamount)>> Stephanie looks at you confused. "Sorry, how much?" [[...->bbpetroleum]] <<elseif $money < $bbpetroleuminvestamount>> "Um," Stephanie says as she looks at your account. "You don't have enough money to do that." [[Invest->invest]] [[Check your investments->checkinvestments]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<else>> [[Processing payment...->buybbpetroleum]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "bigcoin">> <<if isNaN($bigcoininvestamount)>> Stephanie looks at you confused. "Sorry, how much?" [[...->bigcoin]] <<elseif $money < $bigcoininvestamount>> "Um," Stephanie says as she looks at your account. "You don't have enough money to do that." [[Invest->invest]] [[Check your investments->checkinvestments]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<else>> [[Processing payment...->buybigcoin]] <</if>> <<else>> Stephanie looks at you confused. "Sorry, what?" [[...->invest]] <</if>>

<<if $wanttobuy is "weed">> <<if isNaN($gramsofweed)>> Twizzler gives you a confused look. "What?" [[...->weed]] <<elseif $money < $gramsofweed * 5>> "The fuck?" Twizzler asks. "Come back when you got more money." [[Drugs->finddrugstosell]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<else>> Twizzler counts your cash. [[...->buyweed]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "ecstasy">> <<if isNaN($gramsofecstasy)>> Twizzler gives you a confused look. "What?" [[...->ecstasy]] <<elseif $money < $gramsofecstasy * 15>> "The fuck?" Twizzler asks. "Come back when you got more money." [[Drugs->finddrugstosell]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<else>> Twizzler counts your cash. [[...->buyecstasy]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "cocaine">> <<if isNaN($gramsofcocaine)>> Twizzler gives you a confused look. "What?" [[...->cocaine]] <<elseif $money < $gramsofcocaine * 30>> "The fuck?" Twizzler asks. "Come back when you got more money." [[Drugs->finddrugstosell]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<else>> Twizzler counts your cash. [[...->buycocaine]] <</if>> <<else>> Twizzler gives you a confused look. "What?" [[...->finddrugstosell]] <</if>>

<<set _roll to random(1, 100)>> <<if _roll is 4>> Twizzler's directions lead you to a college dorm. As you walk into the residence building, a security guard stops you. "Excuse me," she says, "can you open your bag for me please?" She finds your weed, confiscates it, and fines you $50. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $money to $money - 50>> <<else>> Twizzler's directions lead you to a college dorm. You knock at door 420, and are greeted after a few seconds by a blazed-looking youth. "Hey dude," he says. "Got your money right here." The sale goes off without a hitch. The kid pays you $<<print $gramsofweed * 10>> for $gramsofweed grams of weed. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $money to $money + $gramsofweed * 10>> <</if>> <<run $stuff.delete("weed")>>

<<set _roll to random(1, 10)>> <<if _roll is 4>> Twizzler's directions lead you to a park. You sit on a bench beside a woman in her 30s. "Got the stuff?" she asks. When you take out the bag of ecstasy, you feel something cold and metallic pushing against your side. "Police," she says. "You're coming with me." The officer confiscates your ecstasy and fines you $100. Your reputation is hurt as well. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $money to $money - 100>> <<set $reputation to $reputation - 5>> <<else>> Twizzler's directions lead you to a park. You sit on a bench beside a woman in her 30s. "Got the stuff?" she asks. The sale goes off without a hitch. The woman pays you $<<print $gramsofecstasy * 50>> for $gramsofecstasy grams of ecstasy. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $money to $money + $gramsofecstasy * 50>> <</if>> <<run $stuff.delete("ecstasy")>>

<<set _roll to random(1, 5)>> <<if _roll is 4>> Twizzler's directions lead you to a highrise. You go up to the penthouse apartment and are greeted by Pierce Brosnan. "Finally!" he exclaims upon seeing you. He insists on doing a bump right away and you oblige. Unfortunately, he doesn't react very well with the coke, falling to the floor and convulsing after taking some. You have killed Pierce Brosnan. Hotel security and the police come soon, confiscating your cocaine and fining you $500. Your reputation is ruined as well. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $money to $money - 500>> <<set $reputation to 0>> <<else>> Twizzler's directions lead you to a highrise. You go up to the penthouse apartment and are greeted by Pierce Brosnan. "Finally!" he exclaims upon seeing you. He insists on doing a bump right away and you oblige. "That's the stuff!" he yells afterwards. The sale goes off without a hitch. Pierce Brosnan pays you $<<print $gramsofcocaine * 120>> for $gramsofcocaine grams of cocaine. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $money to $money + $gramsofcocaine * 120>> <</if>> <<run $stuff.delete("cocaine")>>

You head over to Moscow, the city's greasiest high-end club. They are the mobster's nightlife spot of choice due to their lax gun policy and tasty drinks. The bouncer is an extremely large Russian man with a cone head. You try not to make a snide comment. "I'm on the guestlist," you say. "Under Jack?" The bouncer looks at the list, looks up at you, then jerks his neck towards the door. You take that as a signal to go inside. The club is huge but somehow still crowded. You get the feeling that the people you're looking for won't be at the very front, so you start making your way through the crowd. After a few minutes, you see Jack. "Hey!" he calls to you over the deafening music. "Back room!" You make your way to the back of the club and get past another bouncer. He lets you through another door and you find yourself in another equally huge club room, this time filled with the kind of people you expected. A bald man in a suit with an unbelievable amount of chest hair sticking out of his unbuttoned shirt comes up to you. "Comrade," he shouts over the music. "You look unfamiliar. I suspect you are in need of firepower. Am I correct?" [[Yes->goonstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">>

You don a tourist-y money belt to keep your wallet safe and head over to Bucharest Beerhall, the city's hub for thieves and other dishonest folk. As the name would suggest, the location is a long hall with communal seating and a large beer menu. You're waiting in line to get a drink when you're approached by a familiar face. "Janette?" you ask. "Who else?" she replies. "Listen, I know we were partners back in the day, but I'm not in the scene anymore." "Then...why are you here?" you ask. She gives you a dirty look. "I heard you were back in town and figured your stupid ass would need help finding a crew for the idiotic heist you're inevitably planning." You let out a grin. "You know me too well," you say. She turns away and starts walking. "Come on, follow me." [[Follow her->thiefstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">>

<<if $wanttobuy is "pistol">> <<if $money < 100>> Becky glares at you. "Your broke-ass doesn't have enough money for a pistol." [[...->gunstore]] <<else>> [[Becky counts your cash.->buypistol]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "shotgun">> <<if $money < 200>> Becky glares at you. "Your broke-ass doesn't have enough money for a shotgun." [[...->gunstore]] <<else>> [[Becky counts your cash.->buyshotgun]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "assaultrifle">> <<if $money < 500>> Becky glares at you. "Your broke-ass doesn't have enough money for an assault rifle." [[...->gunstore]] <<else>> [[Becky counts your cash.->buyassaultrifle]] <</if>> <</if>>

"'Kay, here ya go," Becky says as she hands you your pistol. "Anything else?" [[Yeah->gunstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 100>> <<set $firepower to $firepower + 1>> <<run $stuff.push("pistol")>>

"'Kay, here ya go," Becky says as she hands you your shotgun. "Anything else?" [[Yeah->gunstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 200>> <<set $firepower to $firepower + 2>> <<run $stuff.push("shotgun")>>

"'Kay, here ya go," Becky says as she hands you your assault rifle. "Anything else?" [[Yeah->gunstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 500>> <<set $firepower to $firepower + 3>> <<run $stuff.push("assault rifle")>>

"There is a great selection of mercenaries here that would be happy to join you in whatever endeavour you wish," the bald man says, "provided you have the proper funds of course. Your options are * Victor Stepanovich: some kid that just joined up. Inept but loyal. Weak. $50. * Lev Victorovich: a neurotic mess that seems more suited to white-collar crime. Weak. $50. * Yulia Vyacheslavovna: an asshole that most mobsters can't stand working with. Tough but insufferable. Average. $100. * Doroteya Denisovna: the epitome of professional. Nothing special, but appropriately priced. Average. $100. * Maks Sergeyevich: violent crime extraordinaire. Probably a psycopath. Strong but unstable. $200. * Tanya Vladimirovna: can somehow walk silently in stilettos. A stealthy killer. Strong. $500 * Lera Zakharovna: world-class assassin. Can kill you with a veggie straw. Very strong. $1000. What'll it be?" <> <<if not $crew.includes("Victor (weak goon)")>> [[Hire Victor for $50->goonstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Victor"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Lev (weak goon)")>> [[Hire Lev for $50->goonstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Lev"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Yulia (average goon)")>> [[Hire Yulia for $100->goonstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Yulia"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Doroteya (average goon)")>> [[Hire Doroteya for $100->goonstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Doroteya"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Maks (strong goon)")>> [[Hire Maks for $200->goonstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Maks"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Tanya (strong goon)")>> [[Hire Tanya for $500->goonstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Tanya"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Lera (very strong goon)")>> [[Hire Lera for $1000->goonstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Lera"]] <</if>> <> <<whatsnext "Leave">>

<<if $wanttobuy is "Victor">> <<if $money < 50>> The bald man looks confused. "Remember when I said 'if you have the funds'? I was serious." [[...->goonstore]] <<else>> The bald man calls Victor over. [[...->hirevictor]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Lev">> <<if $money < 50>> The bald man looks confused. "Remember when I said 'if you have the funds'? I was serious." [[...->goonstore]] <<else>> The bald man calls Lev over. [[...->hirelev]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Yulia">> <<if $money < 100>> The bald man looks confused. "Remember when I said 'if you have the funds'? I was serious." [[...->goonstore]] <<else>> The bald man calls Yulia over. [[...->hireyulia]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Doroteya">> <<if $money < 100>> The bald man looks confused. "Remember when I said 'if you have the funds'? I was serious." [[...->goonstore]] <<else>> The bald man calls Doroteya over. [[...->hiredoroteya]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Maks">> <<if $money < 200>> The bald man looks confused. "Remember when I said 'if you have the funds'? I was serious." [[...->goonstore]] <<else>> The bald man calls Maks over. [[...->hiremaks]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Tanya">> <<if $money < 500>> The bald man looks confused. "Remember when I said 'if you have the funds'? I was serious." [[...->goonstore]] <<else>> The bald man calls Tanya over. [[...->hiretanya]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Lera">> <<if $money < 1000>> The bald man looks confused. "Remember when I said 'if you have the funds'? I was serious." [[...->goonstore]] <<else>> The bald man calls Lera over. [[...->hirelera]] <</if>> <</if>>

"Uh, hey," Victor says as he puts your money in his pocket. "What are we doin'?" Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->goonstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 50>> <<set $firepower to $firepower + 1>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Victor (weak goon)")>>

"H-h-h-hey," Lev says as he takes your money. "Please tell me this is going to be an easy one." Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->goonstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 50>> <<set $firepower to $firepower + 1>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Lev (weak goon)")>>

"Pleasure doing business with you," Doroteya says calmly as she takes your money. "What's our objective?" Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->goonstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 100>> <<set $firepower to $firepower + 2>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Doroteya (average goon)")>>

"Who we killin' today?!" Maks says excitedly. The bald man motions to your cash offering and Maks takes it reluctantly. Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->goonstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 200>> <<set $firepower to $firepower + 3>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Maks (strong goon)")>>

Your money disappears from your hand. "Let's get going," you hear a voice say to you from somewhere. Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->goonstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 500>> <<set $firepower to $firepower + 3>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Tanya (strong goon)")>>

A very plain looking woman walks up to you and takes your money. "Let's go," she says. "Is this the right person?" you ask the bald man. "Yes. Appearances can be deceiving," he replies. Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->goonstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 1000>> <<set $firepower to $firepower + 4>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Lera (very strong goon)")>>

Yulia snatches the money out of your hands and stares intensely at you. Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->goonstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 100>> <<set $firepower to $firepower + 2>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Yulia (average goon)")>>

"Okay, here are the people I trust," Janette says as she leads you to the back of the beerhall. "Your options are * Ciprian Grigorescu: burglar. Mostly into robbing convenience stores. Weak. $100. * Liliana Gheorghe: burglar. Talented but can't help leaving a calling card. Average. $200. * Eveline Trelles: burglar. New to the game but proved herself by stealing the Black Panther diamond. Strong. $300. * Emil Varias: techie. Works IT at various companies, mostly just installing Adobe Acrobat on computers. Weak. $100. * Stan Cojocar: techie. Lazy, but this means he gets his work done as efficiently as possible. Average. $200. * Celestina Moldovan: techie. Serious about her work to the point of being argumentative. Strong. $300. * Florina Randa: driver. Drives people around for Uber during the day. Weak. $100. * Zina Vladu: driver. Has been driving racecars since she was 13. Average. $200. * Dan Presecan: driver. Mechanic that knows his car inside and out. Strong. $300. What'll it be?" <> <<if not $crew.includes("Ciprian (weak burglar)")>> [[Hire Ciprian for $100->thiefstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Ciprian"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Liliana (average burglar)")>> [[Hire Liliana for $200->thiefstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Liliana"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Eveline (strong burglar)")>> [[Hire Eveline for $300->thiefstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Eveline"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Emil (weak techie)")>> [[Hire Emil for $100->thiefstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Emil"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Stan (average techie)")>> [[Hire Stan for $200->thiefstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Stan"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Celestina (strong techie)")>> [[Hire Celestina for $300->thiefstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Celestina"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Florina (weak driver)")>> [[Hire Florina for $100->thiefstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Florina"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Zina (average driver)")>> [[Hire Zina for $200->thiefstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Zina"]] <</if>> <> <> <<if not $crew.includes("Dan (strong driver)")>> [[Hire Dan for $300->thiefstoreerrorcheck][$wanttobuy to "Dan"]] <</if>> <> <<whatsnext "Leave">>

<<if $wanttobuy is "Ciprian">> <<if $money < 100>> Janette slaps you. "Don't try to skeeve my friends out of money, you ass." [[...->thiefstore]] <<else>> Janette calls Ciprian over. [[...->hireciprian]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Liliana">> <<if $money < 200>> Janette slaps you. "Don't try to skeeve my friends out of money, you ass." [[...->thiefstore]] <<else>> Janette calls Liliana over. [[...->hireliliana]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Eveline">> <<if $money < 300>> Janette slaps you. "Don't try to skeeve my friends out of money, you ass." [[...->thiefstore]] <<else>> Janette calls Eveline over. [[...->hireeveline]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Emil">> <<if $money < 100>> Janette slaps you. "Don't try to skeeve my friends out of money, you ass." [[...->thiefstore]] <<else>> Janette calls Emil over. [[...->hireemil]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Stan">> <<if $money < 200>> Janette slaps you. "Don't try to skeeve my friends out of money, you ass." [[...->thiefstore]] <<else>> Janette calls Stan over. [[...->hirestan]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Celestina">> <<if $money < 300>> Janette slaps you. "Don't try to skeeve my friends out of money, you ass." [[...->thiefstore]] <<else>> Janette calls Celestina over. [[...->hirecelestina]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Florina">> <<if $money < 100>> Janette slaps you. "Don't try to skeeve my friends out of money, you ass." [[...->thiefstore]] <<else>> Janette calls Florina over. [[...->hireflorina]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Zina">> <<if $money < 200>> Janette slaps you. "Don't try to skeeve my friends out of money, you ass." [[...->thiefstore]] <<else>> Janette calls Zina over. [[...->hirezina]] <</if>> <<elseif $wanttobuy is "Dan">> <<if $money < 300>> Janette slaps you. "Don't try to skeeve my friends out of money, you ass." [[...->thiefstore]] <<else>> Janette calls Dan over. [[...->hiredan]] <</if>> <</if>>

"Aye," Ciprian says as he puts your money in his pocket. "We get commission on this one or naw?" Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->thiefstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 100>> <<set $heistpower to $heistpower + 1>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Ciprian (weak burglar)")>>

"Hey," Liliana greets you as she takes your money. "Do you already have matching costumes for us or should I look into that?" Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->thiefstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 200>> <<set $heistpower to $heistpower + 2>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Liliana (average burglar)")>>

Eveline reaches behind your ear and pulls out your $300. "Let's get to it," she says. Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->thiefstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 300>> <<set $heistpower to $heistpower + 3>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Eveline (strong burglar)")>>

"Any intel on what the target's system is like?" Emil asks. "A little pre-heist research never hurt anybody." Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->thiefstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 100>> <<set $heistpower to $heistpower + 1>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Emil (weak techie)")>>

Stan drags his feet walking over to you and takes your money. "When's the heist? I need to plan my naps accordingly." Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->thiefstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 200>> <<set $heistpower to $heistpower + 2>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Emil (average techie)")>>

"Let's get to it," Celestina says. "I hope you've hired others on the same level as the two of us." Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->thiefstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 300>> <<set $heistpower to $heistpower + 3>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Celestina (strong techie)")>>

"Yeah, yeah," Florina says as she snatches the cash out of your hands. "Where's the drop?" Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->thiefstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 100>> <<set $heistpower to $heistpower + 1>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Florina (weak driver)")>>

"Oh baby," Zina says, rubbing her hands together. "I got a good feeling about this one." Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->thiefstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 200>> <<set $heistpower to $heistpower + 2>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Zina (average driver)")>>

"That's it?" Dan asks when you give him $300. "What about Dolores?" "For the last time, Dan, no one's gonna pay you and your damn car separately," Janette snaps. "But she works so hard..." Dan mumbles as he walks away. Do you want to hire anyone else? [[Yes->thiefstore]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 300>> <<set $heistpower to $heistpower + 3>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<run $crew.push("Dan (strong driver)")>>

After some research, you realize that raiding Silverman Sachs is impossible and anyone who attempts to steal from them will be imprisoned for life. Anyone of age, that is. So you do the next best thing; you send two kids in a trench coat to the bank to inform the tellers that there's a bomb in the building and that anyone connected to Silverman Sachs is in danger. The urban terrorists are willing to negotiate, but only with the board of directors. The bank is immediately evacuated, a bomb squad is put in place, and the investors are called into headquarters, ensuring good-for-nothing Giuseppe is out of his mega mansion, leaving //The Golden Fleece// vulnerable and yours for the taking... well, almost. You still have to decide how to break in. [[...->heist]]

What better way to take down Giuseppe than with the fiery vengeance of his of his ex wives and girlfriends? After some quick research through the dark web and some FBI databases, you find there have been 5 since your mom: Zhenya, Nicolette, Rania, Alice, and Quinn. They're all willing to storm the mansion and occupy Giuseppe's goons---all except Nicolette. Nicolette wants a pair of python shoes which go for $375.00.... Peanuts, she says. Nicolette is, allegedly, his favourite, but $375.00 seems steep. Do you splurge? [[Nah, four exes is enough to send anyone running.->fourexes]] <> <<if $money > 374>> [[Buy her the shoes! Her loyalty is invaluable.->buyshoes][$money to $money - 375]] <</if>> <> [[Reconsider your diversion tactics.->pickdiversion]]

Jack's been waiting years for this day. Finally, it’s time to release the ducks. You know that Giuseppe commutes every evening from his lair to eat Paczkis with his dog Napoleon at Madame Aneta’s, a polish donut shop on the far end of town. You also know that Highway 83 is the only way Giuseppe can get home, and by releasing the ducks in the middle of the road, you will cause enough chaos to stop traffic and delay him for at least an hour. [[Make the call->releasetheducks2]]

Nicolette is pleased with her pythons and rolls up to Giuseppe’s mansion in her ferrari with his 4 other exes in tow. You watch through the camera feeds of surrounding buildings as they harrass security at each of home’s exits, save for the roof, where Giuseppe’s helicopter can be seen taking off. “The calzone has left the oven,” hisses a lisp on the other end of the line, ripe with botox and bitterness. “We can hold them off for about an hour till we have to start pulling each others extensions out to be believable. Hurry up.” [[...->heist]]

<<set _roll to random(1, 2)>> <<if _roll is 1>> Nicolette was bluffing. Her hatred for Giuseppe is more than enough to fuel her revenge. She rolls up to Giuseppe’s mansion in her ferrari with his for other exes in tow. You watch through the camera feeds of the surrounding houses as the women harrass security at each of home’s exits, save for the roof, where Giuseppe’s helicopter can be seen taking off. “The calzone has left the oven,” hisses a lisp on the other end of the line, ripe with botox and bitterness. “We can hold them off for about an hour till we have to start pulling each others extensions out to be believable. Hurry up.” [[...->heist]] <<elseif _roll is 2>> Nicolette grudgingly agrees to help you. She rolls up to Giuseppe’s in her ferrari with his four exes in tow. They storm the front door and sweep inside the building, out of sight. You watch as your master plan unfolds with glee. Unfortunately, there’s no movement for thirty minutes, leaving you to wonder whether the Corinthian-style columns that hold up Giuseppe’s home are his way of compensating for something. You start to suspect something is wrong when there’s been no sound nor movement for a whole hour. “Nicolette?” You whisper into your mouthpiece. “Everything OK?” Finally you see Giuseppe's helicopter taking off, but instead of flying away it's headed directly towards you! You barely have time to jump out of the car and find cover before your car is lacerated by gunfire. Nicolette crossed you! This is gonna be a tough one. No way of being stealthy now. Hope you came with plenty of goons. [[...->blood]] <</if>>

Your army is so spectacular it makes the news. 10,000 rubber ducks stand resolutely along Highway 83, just before the exit that leads from the bourgeois township of Lincoln Park, where Giuseppe lives. There have been a few casualties, unfortunately, on both sides of the duck-truck conflict. Press that got stuck in traffic is posted up on the roadside, speculating on the origin of your soldiers from their smartphones. Where do they come from? What do they want? One anchor speculates this is a political piece orchestrated by the famed English street artist, Parksy. You roll your eyes at the idea. What kind of a fucking name is Parksy, anyway? Your informants that bugged Giuseppe’s car outside Madame Aneta’s inform you that Giuseppe is stuck in traffic, a long way from the donut shop but even further from home. You have hours, if not more, before your army is taken out by armed forces. [[It’s time to bring home the Golden Fleece.->heist]]

There are three ways this can go; you can storm Giuseppe’s fortress, guns blazing, and take the painting by force. He’ll know it was you, and you will most likely have to go back into hiding or take him out, as he will surely come for you, but you’ll have your revenge. Alternatively, you can sneak into his home undetected, nick the painting, and walk around in daylight. If you have enough money, you can also try to pay the ransom. [[Exact bloody revenge upon Giuseppe and his goons.->blood]] [[I want this life of crime to be over. Let’s sneak in.->sneek]] <> <<if $money > 9999>> [[Pay the ransom money->ransom]] <</if>> <>

<> <<if $reputation + $firepower > 30>> [[You prepare for a battle.->goodbloodend]] <<elseif $reputation + $firepower > 15>> [[You prepare for a battle.->bittersweetbloodend]] <<else>> [[You prepare for a battle.->badbloodend]] <</if>> <>

<> <<if $reputation + $heistpower > 30>> [[You prepare to be stealthy.->goodstealthend]] <<elseif $reputation + $heistpower > 15>> [[You prepare to be stealthy.->bittersweetstealthend]] <<else>> [[You prepare to be stealthy.->badstealthend]] <</if>> <>

<> <<if $reputation > 15 && $money > 9999>> [[You prepare to pay the ransom.->goodransomend]] <<elseif $reputation > 7 && $money > 9999>> [[You prepare to pay the ransom.->bittersweetransomend]] <<elseif $money > 9999>> [[You prepare to pay the ransom.->badransomend]] <<else>> [[You don't have enough money to pay the ransom.->heist]] <</if>> <>

You pull up to Giuseppe’s with your task force, ready to destroy the man who ruined your life and return your mom’s prized possession. Your team hops out of your armored car, guns blazing, ready to stick it to the man. You take out your enemies ruthlessly, knocking the front door clean off its reinforced hinges. Thanks to your informants, you know the painting has been rotting in the east wing bedroom where your mother used to reside. After subduing about half a dozen guards, watching the butler faint, and hearing the kitchen staff retreat deep into the pantry, you tear down the hallway lined with portraits of Giuseppe, defacing each one with a red sharpie as you go like some vigilante Picasso. Finally, at the farthest end of the corridor, in the last room of the east wing, you find your prize. //The Golden Fleece// is just as beautiful as you remember, in its gilded, golden frame, which is so heavy you need the help of two others to carry it out through the back door and into the getaway car. You drive to a parking garage where you switch cars, hide the painting in the trunk, and dress as your cronie’s grandma in full babushka regalia in case Giuseppe tracked your car’s movements with security cameras or had you followed to the parking garage. From there, you drive to your childhood home and into the garage. Your mother is perplexed by the strange old lady and terrifying Russian gentleman standing next to her, until you remove your pink coat, scarf, and oversized sunglasses. Your mom starts to sob. She hasn’t seen you in ten years. "Good to see you, mom…. I have something for you." You pull the painting from the trunk. Your mom can’t believe her eyes. “How?” she asks. “Oh, never mind. I’m just glad you’re home. Come inside.” THE END

You pull up to Giuseppe’s with your task force, ready to destroy the man who ruined your life and return your mom’s prized possession. Your team hops out of your mid-sized, inconspicuous sedan, guns blazing, ready to stick it to the man. You take out your enemies ruthlessly, knocking the front door clean off its reinforced hinges. Thanks to your informants, you know the painting has been rotting in the east wing bedroom where your mother used to reside. After subduing about half a dozen guards, watching the butler faint, and hearing the kitchen staff retreat deep into the pantry, you tear down the hallway lined with portraits of Giuseppe, defacing each one with a red sharpie as you go like some vigilante Picasso. Finally, at the farthest end of the corridor, in the last room of the east wing, you find your prize. //The Golden Fleece// is just as beautiful as you remember, in its gilded, golden frame, which is so heavy you need the help of two others to carry it out through the back door and into the getaway car. You drive to a parking garage, where you switch cars and hide the painting in the trunk and dress as your cronie’s grandma in full babushka regalia in case Giuseppe tracked your car’s movements with security cameras or had you followed to the parking garage. From there, you drive to your childhood home and into the garage. Your mother is perplexed by the strange old lady and terrifying Russian gentleman standing next to her, until you remove your pink coat, scarf, and oversized sunglasses. Your mom starts to sob. She hasn’t seen you in ten years. "Good to see you, mom…. I have something for you.: You pull the painting from the trunk. Your mom can’t believe her eyes. "You dumbass! I told you not to risk your life for this painting. What if you get caught? You must’ve stolen it from someone powerful. If the police don’t come after you, they will. You have to return it immediately before they notice it’s gone. I’m touched, really, but this is too much… I’d rather have my child alive and in my life than dead and only a painting to show for it," she says. "Mom, Giuseppe was the one who stole it." "That good-for-nothing, leathery old fart had the audacity to take the painting from me? Fuck that guy. Come inside, honey. And bring the painting." You go home and hang out with your mom until you pass out on her couch. When you wake up, you find your mom sitting alone in the kitchen. "Mom? What's wrong?" you ask. She holds up a post-it note. "This was on the back of the painting," she says flatly. "It's a fake." The note reads: "Nice try, kid. Hope you've gotten used to running around. When you can repair the damage you’ve done to my masterpieces, I’ll consider returning what I took from you. Consider yourself lucky that’s all I took. Keep an eye out - I'll be watching you.” While you prepare yourself to return to battle and orchestrate a coup of Casa Giuseppe, your mom reminds you your life of crime is over and she’s just happy to have you home. Guess vengeance will have to wait till after she goes to sleep. THE END

You pull up to Giuseppe’s with your task force, ready to destroy the man who ruined your life and return your mom’s prized possession. Your team hops out of your armored car, guns blazing, ready to stick it to the man. You take out your enemies ruthlessly, knocking the front door clean off its reinforced hinges. Thanks to your informants, you know the painting has been rotting in the east wing bedroom where your mother used to reside. After subduing about half a dozen guards, watching the butler faint, and hearing the kitchen staff retreat deep into the pantry, you tear down the hallway lined with portraits of Giuseppe, defacing each one with a red sharpie as you go like some vigilante Picasso. Finally, at the farthest end of the corridor, in the last room of the east wing, you find your prize. //The Golden Fleece// is just as beautiful as you remember, in its gilded, golden frame, which is so heavy you need the help of two others to carry it out through the back door and into the getaway car. You can’t believe you’ve gotten away with it until you have a gun at each of your temples. Your goons take your weapons. The driver turns around from the seat to face you. It is Giuseppe. You pray for death, but what he says is so much worse. “Your mom's going to hear about this.” “Don’t you DARE bring her into this!” You snarl. “You brought her into this the moment you started poking around about that painting, loser. Now shut up. We have a long drive ahead of us, and I intend to listen to the Dave Matthews Band all the way there.” YOU LOSE!

Giuseppe’s mansion is more of a castle, and like a true aristocrat, his castle is covered in ivy older than you. You scale the wall and sneak in through a window to rescue the object of your desire - //The Golden Fleece//. Your thieving friends follow behind you, and together, you lift the painting from the wall, replace it with a portrait of Benito Mussolini (because let’s be real, he’s unlikely to bat an eye at a painting of another fascist in his home), and bring it to safety through a complex pulley system that was used to smuggle art and babies out of the Imperial Palace in Russia during the Bolshevik uprising. You make it to the getaway car and drive to a parking garage, where you switch cars and hide the painting in the trunk and dress as your cronie’s grandma in full babushka regalia in case Giuseppe tracked your car’s movements with security cameras or had you followed to the parking garage. From there, you drive to your childhood home and into the garage. Your mother is perplexed by the strange old lady and terrifying Russian gentleman standing next to her, until you remove your pink coat, scarf, and oversized sunglasses. Your mom starts to sob. She hasn’t seen you in ten years. "Good to see you, mom…. I have something for you." You pull the painting from the trunk. Your mom can’t believe her eyes. “How?” she asks. “Oh, never mind. I’m just glad you’re home. Come inside.” THE END

Giuseppe’s mansion is more of a castle, and like a true aristocrat, his castle is covered in ivy older than you. You scale the wall and sneak in through a window to rescue the object of your desire - //The Golden Fleece//. Your thieving friends follow behind you, and together, you lift the painting from the wall, replace it with a portrait of Benito Mussolini (because let’s be real, he’s unlikely to bat an eye at a painting of another fascist in his home), and bring it to safety through a complex pulley system that was used to smuggle art and babies out of the Imperial Palace in Russia during the Bolshevik uprising. You make it to the getaway car and drive to a parking garage, where you switch cars and hide the painting in the trunk and dress as your cronie’s grandma in full babushka regalia in case Giuseppe tracked your car’s movements with security cameras or had you followed to the parking garage. From there, you drive to your childhood home and into the garage. You’re just about to turn around the bend, arriving at your childhood home, when there’s a gun to your forehead. Your driver instructs you to get in the trunk of the car, at which point you are subdued by a cloud of very strong cologne and handcuffs. It’s a long, bumpy ride, before your blindfold is yanked off and you’re pulled out of sedation. Before you stands Giuseppe, holding //The Golden Fleece//. His lips curl back into a sneer. “You almost got away with it,” he taunts. “Nobody gets past my guards... But somehow, you did. So I’d like to offer you a reward; you get to take the fleece home to your mother, but in exchange, you leave Chicago forever. You could also surrender the fleece to me, and in exchange I’ll let you live in Chicago under my protection for the rest of your days. What’s it gonna be?” [[Return the Fleece to your mother->returnfleece]] [[Surrender the Fleece and accept Giuseppe's protection->surrender]] [[Piss off, I'm taking the Fleece home to my mom and you're gonna leave both of us alone->pissoff]]

Giuseppe’s mansion is more of a castle, and like a true aristocrat, his castle is covered in ivy older than you. You scale the wall and sneak in through a window to rescue the object of your desire - //The Golden Fleece//. Your thieving friends follow behind you, and together, you lift the painting from the wall, replace it with a portrait of Benito Mussolini (because let’s be real, he’s unlikely to bat an eye at a painting of another fascist in his home), and bring it to safety through a complex pulley system that was used to smuggle art and babies out of the Imperial Palace in Russia during the Bolshevik uprising. You make it to the getaway car and drive to a parking garage, where you switch cars and hide the painting in the trunk with your driver dressed as as a babushka, posing as your grandma. From there, you set off toward your childhood home, feet up on the dash. You’re just about dozing off when you feel something tighten around your face and hear the screech of the tires stopping on the roadside. Your driver is, in fact, Giuseppe, who has you in a very fashionable pashmina chokehold. “Nice try, buddy. Nobody walks the halls of my house without me knowing about it,” he snarls. The pashmina is so powerful your soul leaves your body, and for a second, you think you’re dead. Unfortunately, you’re brought back to reality by the the perfume of Giuseppe’s sweaty pits. “You’re going to rot in a cell for the rest of your days, kid.” Overwhelmed by armpit and pashmina, your soul leaves your body a second time, never to return. Giuseppe has won, and your mom is all alone in the world without //The Golden Fleece// to keep her warm at night. THE END

You’ve decided to pay off Giuseppe and his goons; not because that turnip head deserves it, but because you want to look that rotten old vegetable in the eye and let it be known that he destroyed your family. You draft an email to Giuseppe to confirm you have the ransom money and set up a meeting. There’s a knock on your door an hour later. You open it to find a delivery man who hands you a square, scrumptious smelling box. It can’t be. You open it to six fresh Paszckis from Madame Aneta’s, the best donut shop in town. Inside the box are the following instructions: bring the cash to Mme. Aneta’s after close. Come alone. You don’t eat the donuts, fearing that they are poisoned, but you hop in a cab wearing a trench coat padded with cash and carrying an empty briefcase in the event that the deal goes south. When your cab pulls into the lot behind Madame Aneta’s, you are ushered in through the back door by a rather jovial looking Polish woman, who tells you Giu is waiting for you inside. And indeed, there he is; an overdressed gentleman with a turnip-shaped head, sitting in one of the booths at the far end of the shop. Your arch nemesis in the flesh. You take the seat across the table from him and place the briefcase on the table between you. “Well, well.... So you came up with the money after all.” Giuseppe looks over your shoulder and nods. Suddenly, two goons materialize in front of you with the object of your desire; the Golden Fleece. You take off your jacket and rip open the lining, which you sewed in just this morning. Hundred dollar bills fall out from the fabric. Giuseppe raises an eyebrow but doesn’t question it. Two more goons materialize and gather the cash. One of them produces a machine out of a pocket and inserts stacks of bills. Once the goons look satisfied, Giuseppe clears his throat and announces, “it’s time for you to go home.” “I don’t think so, turnip water,” you snarl. “You need to apologize for what you’ve done. To my mom. In person.” “Out of the question,” Giuseppe spits. “She left me. She won’t hear from me ever again.” “Children,” a deep, comforting voice sounds from somewhere in the back of the shop. “Please try to negotiate like adults.” Everyone turns to face the back of the room. Slowly but surely, Mme. Aneta approaches your booth. She is surprisingly tall for an old lady and walks with a cane. You can’t quite tell how old she is, but it is certain that she is ancient. You wouldn’t be surprised if this woman was alive when the pyramids were still being built. She appears to be wrapped in five different floral patterns, though you are not quite sure where one ends and the other begins. “Giu,” Aneta croons. “We spoke about this. You ruined this child’s life, now you apologize.” “I said no such thing,” Giu scoffs. “Stay out of it, ma.” “Ma?” You gasp. “How could such a marvellous old lady produce such a sad excuse for a man?” “He’s adopted,” Aneta assures you. Then, more sternly, she says, “Apologize or next time it won’t be icing sugar on your donuts.” Giuseppe groans. “Ma, come on,” he wines like the 65-year-old-manchild he is. “I’m the one who came up with cocaine donuts. You wouldn’t use my own genius against me.” Aneta smacks her cane against the ground. “Try me,” she hisses. Giuseppe stares woefully into your soul, looking like his is about to leave his body. “I’m sorry for ruining your life, kid. I killed your father, stole your mom’s reason for living, sent cocaine donuts to kill ya, but really, I didn’t mean any of it. You get bored when you age, y’know. Really I’m just a boy with a dream.” “Giu, you are too useless to be figure skater,” Aneta snaps. “No grace. That was a terrible apology.” She turns to you and smiles, reassuringly. “My son will not bother you any more,” she drawls. “Trust I will keep all my eyes on him.” You look around the room and notice Giu’s henchmen are, in fact, watching Aneta for instruction. She is the Mother Superior, the Madame. Giu, in fact, calls none of the shots. You collect your trench coat from the table and wear it like a cape, though Aneta is the real hero of this story. A car is waiting for you in the parking lot, courtesy of your friendly neighbourhood crime family. You have to share the backseat with piles of stolen art, but nevertheless, the driver drops you at your mom’s house like you’re coming home from a long day at school. Your mom greets you at the edge of the driveway with open arms and tears in her eyes. She ushers you in the door and offers you a hot cup of her special tea, which tastes like freshly mowed grass, but you drink nonetheless to the fall of your nemesis and homecoming. THE END

You stop into a bakery quickly to buy a croissant as a quick snack. As you step out of the shop, you are knocked to your feet by someone passing by. "Hey!" they yell, "Watch where you're going!" You recognize the nasal voice immediately. "Leroy?" you ask. Sure enough, it's your old buddy who helped you in the original heist of //The Golden Fleece//. "Hey, whaddaya know?" he asks rhetorically, looking pleased to see you. "How's it going?" His expression darkens quickly. "Sorry, I actually don't really have time for small talk right now. I was chasing some kid who ripped me off on a drug deal when I ran into you! Wanna help me teach him a lesson?" [[Yes->helpleroy]] [[No->donthelpleroy]]

<<silently>> <<set $temp to random(1, 5)>> <</silently>> "Okay, let's go!" Leroy yells over his shoulder after he's already 20 metres ahead of you. You break into a sprint and chase after him. No one knows these streets better than you two, and you eventually catch up with the youth. Leroy tackles him. "You had your chance to play fair, kid," Leroy growls. "Now you're gonna pay one way or another." <<if $temp is 1>> ''BLAM!'' Leroy falls backwards, headless. The kid is frozen on the ground, still clutching his pistol close to his body. He looks too scared to do anything else. <> <<if $firepower > 0>> [[Shoot the kid->shootkid]] <</if>> <> [[Fight the kid->fightkid]] [[Let the kid go->letkidgo]] <<else>> "Please!" the kid shouts to you. "Please help me, I swear it wasn't me. I didn't do it!" [[Let Leroy fight the kid->fightkid]] [[Tell Leroy to let the kid go->letkidgo]] <</if>>

"Sorry man, I got stuff to do," you say. Leroy looks confused for a second, then angry. "What the fuck, man? You come back to town after ten years and now suddenly you're acting all superior? Fuck you, dude. Go deal with your shit, I'm sure it's important," Leroy scoffs as he walks away. Your reputation goes down a little. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation - 1>>

You shoot the kid without a second thought. You search his body, but don't even find any of the money he stole from Leroy. Son of a bitch must have dropped it off somewhere. You mourn Leroy, wishing it didn't have to end like this. Your swift judgment on the kid gives you the reputation of a stone-cold killer. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 2>>

<<if $temp is 1>> You pick the kid up and slam him against the wall. "Why'd you kill Leroy?!" you scream in his face. "He framed me!" the kid yells back. "I swear to God, it was another guy in my crew. I'll lead you straight to him if you let me live." [[Believe the kid and let him go->letkidgo]] [[Finish him off->killkid]] <<else>> Leroy picks up the kid and throws him against the wall. He kicks him while he's down until he stops moving. "That'll teach you to steal from me," he says after he spits on the kid's body. "Thanks for having my back," he says. "Some things never change, eh?" Leroy's loyalty helps improve your reputation. <<whatsnext "...">>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 2>> <</if>>

<<if $temp is 1>> "Get the fuck out of here," you say in a low voice to the kid. "I never want to see your face ever again." The kid looks at you with wide eyes and gets up, scrambling away. You have a feeling you won't be seeing him again. Your reputation as someone merciful increases. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 2>> <<else>> "Leroy," you plead, "Let him go. Maybe you've got the wrong guy." Leroy looks back and forth between you and the kid. He sighs. "Get outta here," he says as he lifts the kid to his feet. "Always gotta be the voice of reason, huh?" Your reputation as someone merciful increases. <<whatsnext "...">>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 2>> <</if>>

You punch the kid's head in without a second thought. You search his body, but don't even find any of the money he stole from Leroy. Son of a bitch must have dropped it off somewhere. You mourn Leroy, wishing it didn't have to end like this. Your swift judgment on the kid gives you the reputation of a stone-cold killer. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 2>>

You go to the soup kitchen on Klintz and Hofstede. They always need volunteers, and are always grateful whenever people show up to help out. You don't recognize anyone working, but this doesn't surprise you as the crowd here is always changing. Volunteer at the soup kitchen for a shift? [[Yes->dosoup]] [[No->dontsoup]]

You spoon soup out for hours, bringing smiles to countless people's faces. Your reputation as an upstanding member of the community increases. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>>

You decide that maybe the soup kitchen isn't the best for today. <<whatsnext "Leave">>

While walking past the Russian embassy downtown, you notice something strange floating in the air. You take a closer look and realize that it is, in fact, a British drone. It seems to be doing some sort of illicit surveillance on the foreign embassy. What do you do? <> <<if $firepower > 0>> [[Shoot it down->shootdrone]] <</if>> <> [[Notify the police->notifypolice]] [[Don't snitch->dontsnitch]]

You shoot the drone down yourself. There is a bit of panic originally, but once the police come and you explain everything properly, they are very pleased. The officers thank you for your service, confiscate the drone, and leave. Your reputation goes up. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 2>>

You call the police, notifying them of the drone's presence. Their response is swift, and they shoot it down quite easily. The police thank you with $100 for your tip. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $money to $money + 100>>

You decide not to notify anyone. It's hardly any of your business. Besides, if the Brits flew a drone all the way over here, it's bound to be doing something useful. You carry on with the rest of your day. <<whatsnext "...">>

As you pass by a twitchy man in a trenchcoat on the street, he asks you "Hey man, wanna buy a bazooka?" [[Yes->interestbazooka]] [[What?->whatbazooka]] [[No->dontbuybazooka]]

"Sure," you say, humouring the man in the trenchcoat. Your jaw drops when he opens up his trenchcoat and you see an actual bazooka holstered in there. "Cool," he says, "that'll be $20." <> <<if $money > 19>> [[I guess I can do $20->buybazooka]] <</if>> <> [[This is giving me bad vibes->dontbuybazooka]]

"A bazooka," he says. "You know. Big kaboom?" He opens up his trenchcoat and reveals that he does, in fact, possess what appears to be a real bazooka. "What do you think? Only $20." <> <<if $money > 19>> [[I guess I can do $20->buybazooka]] <</if>> <> [[This is giving me bad vibes->dontbuybazooka]]

"Naw, I think I'm good. Thanks though," you say to the twitchy trenchcoat guy. "Okay, suit yourself," he says nonchalantly. After walking ten blocks or so, you swear you hear a distinct 'kaboom' from the same direction you just came from... <<whatsnext "...">>

<<silently>> <<set $money to $money - 20>> <<set _roll to random(1, 5)>> <</silently>> <<if _roll is 1>> You pay the man $20 for his bazooka. It is very heavy. You head over to the junkyard to give it a quick test. You ready and shoot the bazooka. It jams and begins to make an extremely alarming noise. You toss it as far as you can and sprint away, and it explodes soon after. You get very lucky and come away from this incident with uninjured. Best to be careful when buying bazookas from strangers next time... <<whatsnext "...">> <<else>> You pay the man $20 for his bazooka. It is very heavy. You head over to the junkyard to give it a quick test. You ready and shoot the bazooka. It blows up a crushed up car in an extremely loud and satisfying way. Bazookas are awesome, and $20 is a goddamn steal. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $firepower to $firepower + 3>> <<run $stuff.push("bazooka")>>

You stop by ''Shindley's'' to have a quick drink. While at the bar, a gentleman dressed in all black approaches you. "Hey buddy," he says, "Buy me a drink? I'll make it worth your while." <> <<if $money > 9>> [[Buy him a drink for $10->buydrink]] <</if>> <> [[Nope->dontbuydrink]]

"You're smarter than you look," the man says as he sips the drink you bought for him. "You see that slot machine in the back?" You look to the back of the bar. Sure enough, there is a dinky looking slot machine, its lights dimly flashing despite looking like it hasn't been used in years. "I've heard it's got pretty good odds," the man says with a wink. He walks off before you can ask any more questions. What do you do? [[Go to the slot machine->goslots]] <<whatsnext "Leave">> <<set $money to $money - 10>>

He shakes his head. "Suit yourself," the man says as he walks away. <<whatsnext "Leave">>

You head over to the slot machine. The machine is called //The Silver Spoon//, and you read that if you get three spoons in a row the machine gives you a 100x payout. What do you do? <> <<if $money > 6>> [[Play the machine for $5->playslots]] <</if>> <> <<whatsnext "Leave">>

<<silently>> <<set $money to $money - 5>> <<set _roll to random(1, 10)>> <</silently>> You put $5 in the machine and pull the lever. The lights flash and the pictures go 'round and 'round until... <<if _roll is 10>> You win big! The machine pays $500 back out to you. Congratulations! <<silently>> <<set $money to $money + 500>> <</silently>> <<else>> You lose! The word "SORRY" lights up in red, and the machine encourages you to play again. <</if>> <<if $money > 6>> [[Play again->playslots]] <</if>> <<whatsnext "Leave">>

You're walking down the street when you hear a deathly shriek. You run over to the source of the scream and find an elderly woman. "MY CAT PHYLLIS!" she yells, pointing down an alleyway. In the alley you see a small tabby cat being cornered by a hyena. There's no time to ask how this all happened; what do you do? <> <<if $firepower > 0>> [[Try to shoot the hyena->shoothyena]] <</if>> <> <> <<if $reputation > 5>> [[Command the hyena to stop->yellhyena]] <</if>> <> <> <<if $crew.length > 1>> [[Send one of your crew to save the cat->crewhyena]] <</if>> <> [[Do nothing, hyenas are scary->donthyena]]

<<silently>> <<set _roll to random(1, 2)>> <</silently>> <<if _roll is 1>> You put the hyena out of its misery with great ease, saving Phyllis. The elderly lady runs to rescue her cat, then runs over to you and starts thanking you profusely. Your reputation has increased. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 2>> <<elseif _roll is 2>> You try to shoot the hyena, but end up just sending a hail of gunfire down into the alley. The elderly lady is not pleased, as her dearest Phyllis is now no more. She glares at you, but then says, "Well, at least that hyena won't be harassing any more pets. Humph!" <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation - 2>> <</if>>

You yell out ''"STOP"'' to the hyena, and it becomes frozen in its tracks. You start to walk down the alleyway, and it sprints away as fast as it possibly can. You pick up Phyllis and bring her back to the elderly lady, who thanks you profusely. Your reputation has increased. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 2>>

<<silently>> <<set _roll to random(1, 2)>> <<set _scapegoat to $crew.random()>> <<for _scapegoat is "you">> <<set _scapegoat to $crew.random()>> <</for>> <</silently>> <<if _roll is 1>> You send _scapegoat out into the alleyway to save Phyllis. They charge down the alleyway, kicking the hyena in the face and swooping up the cat in one swift motion. The hyena gives chase as they exit the alleyway, and you all have to run for a few blocks to lose the hyena. At the end of it all, Phyllis is safe, and the elderly woman thanks you profusely. Your reputation has increased. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 2>> <<elseif _roll is 2>> You send _scapegoat out into the alleyway to save Phyllis. They timidly approach the hyena, and this is a mistake; the hyena doesn't see them as a threat. Abandoning Phyllis, the hyena focuses on attacking _scapegoat, and they lose the battle. The hyena becomes very occupied with their new meal. On the bright side, Phyllis is no longer on the menu and gets away. The elderly lady thanks you, but seems a bit alarmed at how easily you would throw your friends in front of a hyena. She gives you $20 as thanks. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $money to $money + 20>> <<set $reputation to $reputation - 1>> <<run $crew.delete(_scapegoat)>> <</if>>

"Not my problem, lady," you say. "Where the hell did a hyena even come from, anyway?" You eye the elderly lady suspiciously and walk away. <<whatsnext "...">>

You're having a coffee at Moondollars when you notice a young woman eyeing you from behind her Macbook. Do you go over and talk to her? [[Yes->talkwoman]] [[No->donttalkwoman]]

"Excuse me, do you have a problem?" you ask after walking up to her table. She chuckles and says, "More like YOU have one. Take a seat." Before you can really think about it, you find yourself sitting down with her. "My name's Lucille, and I'm a freelance marketing manager. Basically, for just a little cash, I can boost your reputation around here instantly - and it looks like you need it. I can give you a boost for $50. How's that sound?" <> <<if $money > 49>> [[Sounds good, let's do it->buyboost]] <</if>> <> [[No thanks->dontbuyboost]]

Her intense gaze is giving you the creeps, and you decide to take your coffee to go. You wonder what that was all about as you go about the rest of your day... <<whatsnext "...">>

<<silently>> <<set $money to $money - 20>> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <</silently>> "Okay," Lucille says, "consider your reputation boosted. Would you like to pay another $50 to do it again?" <> <<if $money > 49>> [[Yes->buyboost]] <</if>> <> [[No->dontbuyboost]]

"Alright," Lucille says. "Well, best of luck with everything." You get up and leave the coffeeshop. <<whatsnext "...">>

While walking down the street you hear someone call out to you. "Hey!" a toque-wearing preteen yells as she runs towards you. "It's really you!" "Uh...do I know you?" you ask. "Not personally, I guess," she replies. "My name's Karla. I'm Janette's little cousin. Your special jobs with Janette are the reason why the gifts she gives at Christmas and on my birthday are so good!!! That's why I'm your biggest fan." "Oh," you say. "That's cool." "How many guns do you have? Do you still work at that restaurant? Are you a wanted criminal? Are you and Janette still friends? Do-" You get the feeling her questions won't be stopping any time soon. What do you do? <> <<if $money > 19>> [[Give her $20 to leave you alone->payfan]] <</if>> <> <> <<if $reputation > 3>> [[Politely tell her you are very busy right now->talkfan]] <</if>> <> [[Yell at her to go away->yellfan]]

"Here," you say as you hand her some money. "I can't talk for long, so please take this instead." "Wow!" she exclaims at the sight of your cash. "You're even richer than Janette!" She runs off with glee. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>> <<set $money to $money - 20>>

"Thanks for your support and being such a big fan, Karla, I really appreciate it. I'm glad Janette is so good to you. But I'm on a bit of a tight schedule right now; if you want me to be able to keep doing the things I do, I need all the time I can get right now. So talk to you later, okay?" You hope your speech was enough to satisfy Karla. She looks up at you with a big grin. "Of course! I understand. Go get 'em!!!" She hugs you quickly then dashes off somewhere. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation + 1>>

"Hey kid!" you yell. "I don't have time for this. I'm gonna end up in jail if I stop to talk to every random kid I see like you. So leave me be, alright?" Karla looks like she's about to cry. "Okay," she says sheepishly, walking away slowly. Nearby strangers glare at you. <<whatsnext "...">> <<set $reputation to $reputation - 1>>

Giuseppe makes you sign a contract in which you pledge your soul to him in exchange for his protection. You are then instructed to get into the back of an armoured car and deliver the Fleece to its rightful home. Your driver takes you from Giuseppe’s all the way to your childhood home. Instead of getting out of the car and delivering the painting yourself, you watch your driver do the deed. You see your mom’s face lighting up the doorway for the first time in years, and think about how this is the last time you will ever see such a sight. The driver hops back in the car and brings you to the airport. Where to next? THE END

Giuseppe calls a car to take you home to your mom. You spend the entire trip rehearsing what to say when she opens the door, but by the time your car pulls up to your childhood home, your mom’s already waiting for you on the steps. Without asking any questions, she pulls you into a boa-constrictor hug. “I’ve missed you so much,” she says. “Come inside and let’s catch up.” You make eye contact with Giuseppe through the open window of the car only for him to roll the window up until you can no longer see him through the tinted glass. You’re pretty sure he owns you now, but at very least, you get to hang out with your mom and secretly scheme the return of the Fleece to its rightful place. THE END

You’re not quite sure how it happened, but it appears your soul has left your body. You see your corporeal form lying on the ground beneath you. Examining the scene around you, it would appear that Giuseppe has killed you by jamming a butterknife up your nose. Fortunately, you’re dead, but not gone, so you can spend the rest of your ghostdom hanging out with your mom or haunting the asshole that killed you, plotting how to exact your revenge and return the fleece to its rightful home. THE END