Sugarcane

It was a surprise to everyone when certain lawyers gained the power to shoot rainbow laser beams out of their eyes.\n\nAll who see such beams will be at once overcome with a dazzling sensation of pure justice. After a few unfortunate incidents, the Laser Lawyer Act was passed, establishing the rules under which this power could be used.\n\nYou first manifested such powers, as I'm sure you know, shortly after graduation from Queens' Space College. It almost caused someone to fall off the Mathematical Space Bridge, but fortunately you were able to stop them falling all the way down from your geostationary orbit to the river Cam, far below.\n\n[[back|x self]]

It so happens that the writer of this game knows not the first thing about poetry.\n\nSo, please imagine this page is filled with some really good poetry. The sort of poetry that just makes you go 'aah' or whatever noise it is that people make when appreciating excellent poetry.\n\n[[back|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

You are [[JAMES GREENWOOD|x self]] and it is your [[BIRTHDAY|surprise]].\n\nThere are [[BEES|Oh my god bees]] nearby.\n\nYou smell the sinister scent of [[SECRETS]] and the markedly less sinister scent of [[POETRY]]

You present a concise and insightful argument to the contrary, and, shamed, the bees agree never to break this law again.\n\n[[Job well done|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

You attempt to over-rainbow the rainbow beast by shooting more rainbows into it. The rainbow beast swells rapidly, soon encompassing the entire botanical garden in its swirling fabulous tentacles.\n\nFortunately for you, the rainbow gas inside it is lighter than air. The rainbow beast rises quickly to the edge of space. Seeing the stars, it is so awestruck by the universe that it dedicates its life to astronomy. It has a successful career, publishing many papers.\n\n[[GOOD JOB!|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

You quickly ascertain the precise fashion in which these bees are breaking the law.\n\n[[WARN BEES]]\n\n[[ALLOW THE BEES TO GO ON THEIR WAY|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

This is a Twine game. There must be bees.\n\nWith a trained eye, you quickly examine the bees.\n\n[[THE BEES ARE BREAKING THE LAW|Beentervention]]\n\n[[THE BEES ARE BEHAVING THEMSELVES|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

"Hey, bees!"\n\nThe bees buzz in a surprised fashion.\n\n"Bees, you are very silly and should not be breaking the law! According to the laser laywer act, I have discretion to use rainbow beams if you carry on lawbreaking."\n\nThe bees do a complicated waggle dance expressing the concept that the law in question is unjust, and indeed, should not be a law.\n\n[[DISPUTE THE BEES' CLAIM]]\n[[FIRE RAINBOWS]]\n[[THE BEES HAVE A POINT]]

Activating the highly stylish jetpack in your suit, you fly towards the bees. They buzz in a mocking fashion.\n\nYou don't have much fuel in your jetpack, so you must act quickly.\n\n[[INHALE BEES]]

You soon learned the importance of wearing fantastic suits on all occasions. Today, you are wearing a suit with a particularly stylish jetpack.\n\n[[back|x self]]

Given that your birthday is now nearly over, this probably does not come as a surprise.\n\n[[back|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

ok i know special advocates think the whole secret evidence thing is terrible too but bear with me here there can be a parkour sequence ok dont you like parkour\n\nAt once, you engage your suit's jetpack, swooping over the rooftops with a rainbow cloud trailing behind you. Seeing you coming, the special advocate starts running, smoothly vaulting over obstacles and leaping over the roads.\n\nYour jetpack is out of fuel! Clearly you have no choice but to start your own elaborate parkour sequence. Landing neatly on a large crane, you keep pace with the special advocate as they slide down the side of the glass tower at the bottom of the Cambridge Space Elevator.\n\nThe special advocate shoots rainbow beams at you! You dodge behind a passing sky punt, and shoot your own rainbow lasers back. A perfect hit! The advocate tumbles off the building and lands on a conveniently placed mattress.\n\n[[My work here is done|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

The manifestation of rainbow laser eyes seems to be associated with the arrival of the Unblinking Eye of the Court, a being of pure judgement and scrutiny who needs constant moisturising. (They say she came from an ocean planet.)\n\nYou are now good friends with the Unblinking Eye, who is actually quite nice once you get to know her.\n\n[[back|x self]]

It seems the government is up to something once again!\n\nA [[SPECIAL ADVOCATE|parkour time]] is sneaking across the rooftops.\n\n[[they can wait|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

Thinking quickly, you draw the bees into your lungs! You quickly fly out of the botanical gardens to a court of law where the bees can be given a proper trial.\n\n[[Good job!|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

You work together with the bees to influence Parliament to pass a less harmful law. The campaign is grueling and lasts several years, but you eventually sway them to your view and get the law passed. The bees are very grateful and bake you a large cake for your birthday.\n\n[[Oh look, it's your birthday again|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

THE JAMES GREENWOOD BIRTHDAY TWINE ADVENTURE

You turn your lasers on the acid flowers. Colourful fumes begin to rise over the botanical garden. It seems you have accidentally created a RAINBOW BEAST!\n\nThe bees buzz in a fearful fashion. Rainbow beasts are known for their love of honey, after all. It would seem that it's up to you to defeat this beast.\n\n[[MORE RAINBOWS OBVIOUSLY]]\n[[FLY INTO ITS EYE]]\n[[CALL FOR TRIFFID HELP]]

Since the triffids overran the Botanical Garden, it has been largely the province of insects and plant people. You must proceed with caution.\n\nYou soon spot the bees, hovering above a bed of [[ACID FLOWERS]] with a [[NONSPECIFIC NEFARIOUS PLOT]].\n\nYou are not yet within shouting distance.\n\n[[USE JETPACK TO APPROACH BEES]]\n[[EYE BEAM THE ACID FLOWERS]]\n[[IT'S NOT WORTH IT|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

You remember, rather too late, that bees' compound eyes have the power to reflect law beams. In the moment it takes to overcome your own dizzying justice rays, the bees escape into the Botanical Gardens.\n\n[[CHASE BEES]]\n[[return|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

You. As you examine your impeccable [[SUIT]] in the mirror, your [[RAINBOW LAW EYE BEAMS]] accidentally catch you in the eyes, momentarily blinding you with justice. But you have looked many times into the [[UNBLINKING EYE OF THE COURT]] and you resist its overwhelming effect.\n\n[[back|BIRTHDAY HAP]]

You realise that the bees' argument has some merit.\n\n[[STILL, THEY'RE BREAKING THE LAW. FIRE LASER BEAMS!|FIRE RAINBOWS]]\n[[CAMPAIGN TO CHANGE THE LAW]]

You shout for the triffids to come and help you. They oblige with surprising enthusiasm.\n\nThe triffids adopt the rainbow beast into triffid society. Later, when the rainbow beast leads a great war of triffid conquest and takes over the entirety of Belgium, this doesn't quite seem so wise.\n\n[[Oh well, it's only Belgium||BIRTHDAY HAP]]

Bryn

The bees' plan may not actually be nefarious. It all depends on a point of law.\n\n[[back|CHASE BEES]]

Engaging your jetpack, you shoot towards the rainbow beast and straight into its eye.\n\nThe eyes of a rainbow beast are actually portals, linked to another rainbow beast elsewhere on the planet. You emerge from the eye of Professor Sparkle, who is in the middle of delivering a philosophy lecture.\n\nFortunately, the emergence of lawyers from her eyeballs is actually quite relevant to the topic of the lecture. You quickly [[return|EYE BEAM THE ACID FLOWERS]] to the first beast, at the botanical garden.

What they sound like. Many people have made the mistake of touching them, and had to deal with mild burns (by running their hands under a cold tap). You must be very careful to avoid suffering this dire fate yourself.\n\n[[back|CHASE BEES]]