Legends tell of true heroes. Those who stand up for the rights of others, who never back down from a fight, who astonish others with their strength of will, their might
[[Our hero]]A quiet courtyard. A cherry blossom tree arces gently over the grounds, its pale pink tinging the place with warmth.
[[Inside|Father]]
[[Kitchen|Brother]]
[[Corner of the yard|Mother]]
(set: $condition to "at full")
Lady Yusha is $condition strength.
The dirt road is soft from the recent rain; it sifts underneath her feet as she walks. Her step is light, easy. The air smells earthy and fresh. She is excited for what lies ahead. A hand rests casually on her sword hilt.
[[keep walking]]
Her father sits quietly in a chair, reading. She approaches him.
"Father." He looks up and regards her.
"Daughter. How long is your stay?"
"Only a moment, to gain strength."
A pause.
"Stay and eat dinner with us."
[[Main Courtyard|home]]
[[dinner]]
[[road|sigh]]Her brother, Chikashi, is washing vegetables when she enters, ducking her head under the low door frame. Chikashi looks at her, nods, and goes back to his task.
The kitchen is home. The fresh vegetables mixed with the earthy scent of recent rain fill Lady Yusha with a sense of peace.
[[Main Courtyard|home]]
[[road|don't go!]]Stone does not speak, only absorbs the energy of the living.
[[Main Courtyard|home]]
[["I miss you"|pray]]
[[road]]"Wait!"
Chikashi has turned around, and Lady Yusha sees his young eyes bright with emotion. "Please, sister. Think about what you are doing. We are safe for now -- can you not..stay for a while?"
Lady Yusha smiles at the young man. "Time spent here is a treasure, little brother. But every moment I linger, danger lurks closer with no-one to tell him off."
Chikashi bows his head.
[[road]]"I must go." A gentle kiss on wrinkled brow.
A weary breath follows her footsteps out.
[[road]][[<i>Let me be victorious.</i>|Mother]]Lady Yusha enters the cave where the [[monster]] lives.
[[She steps inside.]]
(set: $condition to "at full")
This summer, about a week before school started, my older sister Jennifer killed herself.
[[me]]
She would have been a sophomore in college.Every day I wake up.
It seems like the entire world is swirling up, spun into cotton candy and then ripping away into
tiny, tiny pieces.
[[look around]]
isn't even a question anymore, it's a chant, an endless drone that becomes more and more boring with each exhale and yet I keep breathing in.
[[How do you feel?]]
[[relationship]]
[[finish lunch]](set: $condition to "pretty shitty")
I'm trapped in this cruel reality (cheese please) <s>her</s> reality, what must have been her every day...
[[friends]]
[[lunch in cafeteria]]I can't sit at the dinner table anymore.
"Hey! [Amanda]. It's my friend Mindy and some other people. I make my way through the crowd and sit next to them. They're talking, but I can't really make out what they're saying.
Y'know how in the movies it gets all echoey when the character zones out or his scar starts hurting or some shit? It's like that, but with everything. Every idea seems to come back at me like it's not my own.
Mindy is talking about last week's football game. I don't give a shit, but it's nice to at least try and focus on something else.
I got a good grade on my Spanish quiz.
Should I feel guilty that my grades haven't been affected by this?
This is not to say that I haven't had trouble paying attention and shit. I mean. Obviously.
All I can think about is her or...Lady Yusha.
(set: $condition to "not great")
$condition|How do you feel?
It's almost lunchtime, and I'm barely making it through the day.
Mindy is going to drive around with our friend Taylor and invited me. She's worried about me, which is irritating because I get all the worry she should have had.
[[skip with friends]]
[[lunch in cafeteria]]
[[go home alone]]We take the long way. The winding roads add an absurd indie-movie quality to our cutting class. I stare out the window but don't want to look too emo so I stare at my phone.
I [[deleted]] all the pictures of her but I keep going online and looking at old Instagram photos.
I close the app and jot down some LY notes.
We're silent for a lot of the drive. Sometimes I think we're all waiting for something.
More indie bs.
"Do you want a drink?"
We're almost to our hangout spot. Nothing much, just a big field. Some horses.
[[How do you feel?]]
[[take a beer|drink]]
(set: $drink to 0)It took forever, but the bell rang eventually.
I plumph into the bus seat, swinging my backpack onto my lap so that I can rest my head on it. I stare at all the kids leaving school. There is a cute couple holding hands in front of the window. Two underclassmen girls. They are looking into each others' eyes with what looks like the [[most blissful feeling]] in the world.
[[The bus driver starts the bus.|arrive home]]I walked. It took me half an hour, and I got lost a couple times. Thank God for gps I guess. Ha.
[[why...]]
[[sleep]]
(set: $sleep to 0)Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
(set: $condition to "fuck off")
<b>[[How do you feel?]]
[[snack]][[Why|sleep]]
(set: $sleep to $sleep + 1)
(if: $sleep is 1)[ Why]
(if: $sleep is 2)[ Why]
(if: $sleep is 2)[ ...]
(if: $sleep > 4)[ "Dinner's ready[[!]]"]Was there anything particularly special about Jenny and me? We were just normal sisters with [[normal stupid arguments]] and [[normal everything]], so normal and boring until
I'm trying not to be angry at you, I'm trying so hard Jenny believe me, but you can't even answer me that simple question, can't answer any questions anythis is so stupidI bite into my sandwich. It's one of the pre-packaged ones, and it's dry and sticks to the roof of my mouth.
I don't really feel like talking to anyone.
Lady Yusha nods silently.
[[finish the day]]When Jenny was in high school, she'd come home and blast music on the tv since she didn't have speakers. It used to annoy the shit out of my dad when he got home.
Now there's a fucking mourning dove cooing outside the window.
[[snack]]
[[sleep]]I pour myself a bowl of coco puffs and milk. I'm not sure why I'm so into a food that looks like rabbit poo but
...
I eat it quickly
Now what
(set: $condition to "terrible")
[[How do you feel?]]"Where the fuck is my computer??" Jenny's voice cuts through the dark like a fluorescent knife and I pull the covers over my head. My voice muffled, I manage a groggitated, "How should I know...I was taking a nap just now.."
"Vampire child you may be, but that doesn't excuse thievery!" Jenny is a theatre aficianado and so is often prone to loud proclaimations and rhyming.
"Why are you yelling" She is in my room now, and I resent the invasion of personal space but I am too blah today to do anything about it.
"Oh my god it was in your room why is it in your room??" <i>What? What is she talking..</i>
"Oh...uhm. I borrowed it last night to watch that episode of you-know-what that Mom and Dad would totally judge me for..."
"Ugghh are you serious Amanda I have a paper due in two weeks I need to work --"
<i>"Two weeks</i> are <i>you</i> serious how are we related..."
Something soft bopped me on the head.
"Some of us have to be productive you know." I heard her computer being swiped up and she swept out the door.Your shoes set neatly next to mine, clunked down on the floor.
Your secret collection of Barbies DVDs.
You rolling your eyes at me with the percieved knowing of an Eldest.
Your tears after your first heartbreak. <i>Their</i> tears from then on.
Your clean clothes dumped outside your door because you refused to pick them up from the laundry room.
Your smile that said it was all gonna be okay.
It is a quiet meal, with only the clink of utensils against dishes, soup being slurped.
Her brother looks at Lady Yusha, but does not say anything. Her father keeps his eyes down, on his food.
[[Main Courtyard|home]]
[[Mother]]The villagers said that this monster was greedy, devious. Not like the rest. It had stolen things from the town. At first it had been trinkets. A broken spoon. A spare tea cup. Then, it had been sandals, coats. Incense. Now, sheep. Stray dogs. The people feared what would be taken next.As she enters, a [[goblin]] approaches.
[[Talk]]
[[Fight]]
(set: $condition to "at full")(set: $condition to "pretty shitty")
I'm feeling $condition right now.
[[why]]
[[school]]
[[family]](set: $drink to $drink + 1)
(if: $drink is 1)[ I like beer. It's like bread soda. I have some internalized anti-girl feelings so it makes me feel better about myself, which I guess is messed up]
(if: $drink < 4)[K. [[Have another?|drink]]]
(if: $drink is 2)[ I let out a long breath. (set: $condition to "angry")
Why the fuck did this shit have to happen. Why are all the people I know like this. What the fuck. Is everyone just fuckin...sad? "I'm tired, I need to [[go home]]..."]
(if: $drink is 3)[ I feel sick. (set: $condition to "ugh...") [["Let's go back."|home drunk]]]
(if: $drink is 4)[ They opened the door for me after one look at my face. I splatter a nearby fence post with processed-half-digested sandwich. (set: $condition to "ugh...")
They look at me and I want to die. They take me home. I am quiet.]
[[How do you feel?]]Double-click this passage to edit it.
The goblin strikes before Lady Yusha can say anything. It is a minor cut.
(set: $condition to "almost full")
Lady Yusha is at $condition strength.
[[Fight]]
The fight is quick, though Lady Yusha suffers a strike across the arm. Blood stripes her sleeve.
(if: $condition is "almost full")[ Lady Yusha has some strength. ]
(if: $condition is "at full")[ Lady Yusha has almost full strength.]
[[Continue]]There once lived a woman named Lady Yusha. She was a great warrior who defended her family, village, [and surrounding areas] from all harm. She was great, and terrifying, and beautiful. Her people likened her to the sun that provided nourishment for their crops, and the moon that watched over them at night. Though young, she had already established herself as a true hero.
Returning victorious from her last exploits, Lady Yusha sets forth once more, on a journey to vanquish evil. Upon arriving at her village, she sees the familiar path leading up to her house.
Yet the road ahead beckons.
[[home]]
[[road]]She ventures further into the cave. As she does, she can hear the monster's breathing getting louder.
[[enter]]
The stench hits immediately. Lady Yusha covers her nose.
It smells of spoilt food, burning wood, and fresh blood.
The monster is hovering over its hoard. Things twitch in the corner, but our hero is trying not to look.
<b>"Who dares..enter..."</b> The voice is gravelly, low. The creature's eyes smoulder with a dark fire as it turns to look at the young warrior.
"Stop terrorizing this village. You must leave, you are destroying us." Had her voice always quaked so? She fights the urge to draw her sword.
<i>Not yet.</i>
<b>"And what, pray tell, should convince me to leave?"</b>
It seems like such a small answer now. But there is no going back.
"Me."
The monster's laugh reverberates through the cave.
<b>"Such a puny human? I think not."</b>
The monster steps forward, making Lady Yusha aware of how much smaller she is.
<i>Not yet.</i>
"You mistake concealment for absence."
<b>"Your mistake was so carelessly throwing yourself away."</b> The monster's breath reeks of death. A poisonous heat radiates off its body.
Lady Yusha draws a deep breath. "I have not. It is worth it for the lives I will have saved."
<b> "You acknowledge, then, that you will die." </b>
She looks around her. There is little room between her and the monster. She spies a rotting skull next to them; one livid eye peers from within.
[[Unsheath sword]]
[[Throw skull]]
The sword is swiftly and silently drawn. Lady Yusha is always strengthened by that sheen.
The monster roars and charges.
[[thrust]]
[[slash]]
Mom used to say that Jenny would be an old maid and I would be the soccer mom.
<s>Mom is now half a mom</s>The monster's breath stings Lady Yusha's wounds.
She lies still as he raises an arm to deliver the final blow.
[[thrust]]
The monster screams.
(if: $monster is "stunned")[ He [[falls]] to the ground.]
(if: $monster is not "stunned")[ He clubs Lady Yusha visciously. She feels [[woozy]].]The monster howls as his cheek is slicked open. Lady Yusha is sprayed with hot black blood. It burns...it is poisonous.
(if: $condition is "almost full")[ Lady Yusha is feeling dizzy. ]
(if: $condition is "at full")[ Lady Yusha howls in pain. ]
[[charge]](if: $condition is "woozy")[ He stops her easily with an arm.]
[[She struggles.]]Lady Yusha raises her sword, as she raises her eyes to the heavens to give thanks for her victory.
There is a squelch.
"Ahh....AAARGHHHHHH!" Lady Yusha is screaming. Blood is pouring from her chest. Protruding out of the monster are lethal spines.
Everything starts to go dark...
[[...|death]](set: $condition to "woozy")
She knows that she won't make it.
"Chikashi...I'm sorry.."
[[She charges forward|charge]]He quickly ends her life.
[[...|death]]My science club friends are sitting at a table, talking about D&D/Kill la Kill. We're less of a science club, more of a catch-all nerds club.
[[science club]]
[[why]]
[[finish lunch]]<i>"I'll be right back!"</i>
I sit outside and watch the sun set.
Lady Yusha loved doing that. She and Chikashi.
[[So?]]Well...more accurately I deleted them and put them on a jump drive then I [[threw|skip with friends]] the jump drive in my closet
(set: $condition to "sad")$condition"Hey Amanda..." the caution in Jake's voice is palpable. The rest of them chime in with their eyes.
"Hi." I sit down and open my pre-packaged sandwich pack. I give the pretzels to Amber and start tearing at the border of the sandwich. "Do you guys know what we're doing this week?"
"We were thinking of maybe having a kind of board game night," Jake said. "Amanda you have a lot of games at your house you could bring them on Thursday -- if that's cool..would be fun?"
"Yeah that sounds good."
(set: $condition to "annoyed")
[[How do you feel?]]
[[finish the day]]I want to stab something, I'm so angry. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. Why.
It's funny, it's funny how she's forcing me to recognize some of [[what killed her]] in my every day
[[sleep]]I loiter outside my house after they drop me off. They can't see me like this.
I spy the neighbor-cat that <s>Jenny used to</s>
Fuck.
[[go to room]]We were gonna paint my room, make a whole side a mural. Jenny got some stencils and I was like that's not what a mural is and she was like we can make it our own
[[sleep]]What killed her?! God, it was her! Don't tell me that it wasn't that's bullshit
The permanence is unbearable. I...
It just doesn't make sense, and
I don't want it to because
then it will
finally be real.
[[Resolution]]
I just want to fall and dream again what is only a dream and again and again and again...
These different scenarios turn in my head and make me think that I could have changed any fucking thing
But it's not...
Real.
Our hero left behind a massacre of broken hearts that can never be mended.
The worst part is I can't tell her any of this. She'll never know how this shit feels but I'll never forget and...
I don't know how to finish this story. I'm just angry.
Dying is not heroic or easy
Resolution doesn't exist for me right now
[[What's next?]]
Silence and wakefulness and all the things that make this something that I can't control. So. I'm trying to stay awake, I'm trying to stop dreaming. It's not working. It all feels kind of endless, it's something I can't see.
(set: $monster to "stunned")
The monster is struck in the neck and momentarily surprised by Lady Yusha's unorthodox attack. Quickly, however, he shakes himself and knocks Lady Yusha down.
[[Feign defeat]]