You wake up. You appear to be in a dark cave of some sort. The walls stretch out interminably. They seem all at once glowing and dark, welcoming and foreboding.
You stare at your hands. Although you see them right in front of you, they don’t look real. You give yourself a quick pinch. Don’t feel real either.
[[Look around]]
(set: $status to 0)
$status
Inky blackness that appears to have some push and pull to it, like the ocean’s [[tide.]] Your shoes scuff against the rocky floor.
[[Walk]]
[[Sit]]
$statusYou come across two different paths. One is mossy, with little flowers poking throughout. Pastel stars in a green sky. The other is more of the same. Dark. Perhaps a little more foreboding. Which path do you take?
[[Flowers]]
[[Darkness]]
[[It doesn't matter either way]]
(set: $status to 0)
(set: $timesdeciding to 1)You don’t feel well. You crouch and awkwardly sit down. You take some deep breaths. In and out.
[[Ready|Walk]]
[[Not yet]]
(set: $status to $status - 1)
$statusYou wonder what she would do in this situation. She would charge ahead. She wouldn’t be [[afraid.]]
[[ready|Walk]]
[[I can't]]
(set: $status to $status - 2)
$statusLook over there! You are shivering, breathing in and out. In and out. There's something
I can't see
where'd it go
[[It's just a...]]
You remember sitting with your mother on the beach. She is reading a suspense novel, the cover loudly proclaiming the author’s name in such a way that you must squint to read the actual title. The ocean chants its relentless song, drawing you in. The sun is against your back. First caressing, then digging in like [[claws|Look around]]As you walk, the colors become bolder, brighter. They appear to [[leap]] out at you, almost in a [[frenzy.]]
[[I'm freaking out|paranoia]]
[[What do I do?|redemption]]
The cave widens as you walk forward.
[[Doubt]]
$statusYou stand there, paralyzed by your indecision
[[Decide|Walk]]
[[Don't|It doesn't matter either way]]
(set: $timesdeciding to $timesdeciding + 1 )
(if: $timesdeciding > 3)[ Wow, you are really indecisive. ]
(set: $status to $status - 1)[ $status ]
[[No!|Ennui]]Man, I'm really losing it. Everyone must be able to tell. How do I deal with this? What's the plan? They're gonna see how weird I've gotten, how I can't handle it.
[[resist|paranoia resist]]
[[give in|paranoia give in]]
(set: $status to $status - 1)
$status
What can I take from all these mistakes
It's so hard to face them. These memories turn into the people and I can't see past them.
How do I fix what happened with what will?
[[It's too late|r hold back]]
[[I need to stop running|future]]
(set: $status to $status + 2)
$status
You look around as the world starts to tremble. Everything starts swirling around and you brace yourself as you almost lose your footing. This isn't working, this isn't working, this isn't working...
<img src="https://i1.wp.com/crayonolay.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/problems.jpg?w=356&h=349&crop&ssl=1&zoom=2"/>
[[The End]]
(set: $status to $status - 9000)
$statusWhat are you even doing? What have you ever [[been doing|doubt reflection]]? [[Why|doubt distraction]] are you doing this?
[[What if it never changes?|crisis]]
[[What can I do now?|future]]
$status Watching things grow and change.
[[Not being.|Doubt]] That's what I hate. That's what I don't want to be.
Sitting at the back of the class, my thoughts so big I thought my head would explode. And bits of genius would rain down on the class along with my cerebral-spinal fluid.
No evidence of this genius exists.
(set: $status +1)
$status
How will you know that things won't just stay the same? Everything seems to be the same.
Do you remember when Aaron stopped talking to you?
[[resist]]
[[give in]]
$statusLists. Lists are helpful. What do you want to change most, and how? What are the processes that lead you to these destructive ends?
[[hold back]]
[[give all]]
(set: $status + 1)
$statusYou are looking desperately at your lock. You can't believe this happened. You've forgotten the combination to your mailbox <i>again.</i> You remember how Andy used to tease you about your shitty memory. It makes you feel sad now, and less motivated to open the damn box.
You're [[distracted|Doubt]], thinking about how it used to be.
$statusThat was on him. Again, she'd never put up with it. This isn't something that should be rolling around in your head. Just [[follow my lead|doubt distraction]], I'll get us out of here.
(set: $status + 2)
$statusUgh.
<img src="https://crayonolay.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/rapunzel.png" alt="rapunzel" />
(set: $status to $status - 100)
[[Play again?|Wake up]]You think that maybe that's too much. You should just let life take you where it needs to. You'll figure it out. Eventually.
$status
[[Try again?| Wake up]]You're a long way from escaping this cave, but you feel that any new plan is better than wandering around in circles for the rest of your life. Maybe eventually you'll come up with something.
...So saying,[[play again?|Wake up]]It doesn't matter. It really doesn't.
She didn't give a fuck, and neither should you.
Okay. You can do this. [[I can do this|Doubt]].
(if: $petals is "1")[You leave the flower on the ground.]
(if: $petals is "2")[You leave the flower on the ground.]
(if: $petals is "4")[You eat the flower in determination.]
(if: $petals is "5")[You clutch the flower resolutely.]
(set: $status to $status + 3)
$status
Uhh uhm uh guess I'll just live as a hermit for the rest of eternity...
<img src="https://i0.wp.com/crayonolay.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/solo.jpg?w=400&h=378&crop&ssl=1&zoom=2" />
(set: $status to $status - 1)
$status
[[Play again?|Wake up]]All I can do is keep my head down and try to get through.
Your lucky number is: $status!
[[Try again?|Wake up]]dog.
<img src="https://i1.wp.com/crayonolay.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/this-is-fine-dog.jpg?w=640&h=472&crop&ssl=1&zoom=2" alt="dog" />
[[...What?]]
(set: $status to "on fire")
$status[[Begin Again?|Wake up]]"Come on!" You look back at Aaron, he is grinning.
Everyone looks like little tadpoles, wriggling around, churning in your belly.
The air is salty-sweet, the breeze lifts the past up and winds around, ruffling your hair and giving you goosebumps.
"Come on!"
You [[close your eyes|Flowers]]. Your jawbone keeps time to the music as more people push past you. You try to tap your feet and immerse yourself in it but it keeps
pushing back,
pushing back, and you [[can't hold on|Flowers]] to it.
[[look around]]
You see a flower on the ground. (set: $petals to (either: "1","2","4","5")) It has $petals petals.
(if: $petals is "1")[You[[ you feel a little hopeless.|paranoia ]]]
(if: $petals is "2")[...[[ eh.|paranoia]]]
(if: $petals is "4")[You feel nothing[[.|frenzy.]]]
(if: $petals is "5")[You[[ feel a little hopeful.|frenzy.]]]
You pick the flower up and hold on to it.[[Huh?|Wake up]]You can't give up. [[Not yet]].
<img src="https://crayonolay.wordpress.com/2017/05/13/memes-im-using-for-my-interactive-fiction/#jp-carousel-211" />
$status