So different from the false hope\nof family. \nThe understanding words undercut\nby the eye's disappointment.\nThe shock of realization, the quick\nabandonment. This is what I expect.\nSomething not right with that one.\nThe hasty validation and trumped up shame. \nThe brisk sentence.\n[[Nevertheless.|Trim6]]\n
Just call it a mercy\nand be done with it.
No matter what comes to light,\nthey'll have this final vision \nof you\nas perfect as I can make it\ngiven the circumstances.\nWhen they find [[me|yours]], I won't explain.
If there were nothing else,\nthere would be you. \nThe cool tiles that frame your sunken, unmoving body.\nThe harsh fluorescent from above\n[[highlighting|intimacy]] your form.\nYour fingers are sharp\nas I fondle [[your|demand]] hand.\nI could bring those pointed nails\nto [[my|worry]] cheek. \nI leave, feeling more pure,\nfrom the bathroom stall.\n\nI'm washing my hands before I know\n[[what|calling]] I'm doing.\nAnd I'm leaving, but I'm leaving\n[[myself|finally]] behind.\nThough, even as I set myself up,\nI feel set up.\nDespite my [[misgivings|stranger]], at least\nit feels final.\nNevertheless.\nYour head was tucked, undignified\nbeneath the [[tank|blunt]].\nYou were heavy and you were dead\nbut you were malleable enough.\nI'm no expert, but you didn't \ndie long ago.\nSetting you up,\nI couldn't imagine what else\nI could do [[for|run]] you. \nCrossed your arms [[on|looks]] your lap.\nNo matter what comes to light,\nthey'll have this final vision \nof you\nas perfect as I can make it\ngiven the circumstances.\nWhen they find [[me|yours]], I won't explain.
It was all about looks\nand what the living would remember.\nAs much kinship as we shared,\nI was still among them\nand in a better position\nto position [[you.|Trim9]]
Your fingers are sharp\nas I fondle [[your|demand]] hand.\nI could bring those pointed nails\nto [[my|worry]] cheek. \nI leave, feeling more pure,\nfrom the bathroom stall.\n\nI'm washing my hands before I know\n[[what|calling]] I'm doing.\nAnd I'm leaving, but I'm leaving\n[[myself|finally]] behind.\nThough, even as I set myself up,\nI feel set up.\nDespite my [[misgivings|stranger]], at least\nit feels final.\nNevertheless.\nYour head was tucked, undignified\nbeneath the [[tank|blunt]].\nYou were heavy and you were dead\nbut you were malleable enough.\nI'm no expert, but you didn't \ndie long ago.\nSetting you up,\nI couldn't imagine what else\nI could do [[for|run]] you. \nCrossed your arms [[on|looks]] your lap.\nNo matter what comes to light,\nthey'll have this final vision \nof you\nas perfect as I can make it\ngiven the circumstances.\nWhen they find [[me|yours]], I won't explain.
I leave, feeling more pure,\nfrom the bathroom stall.\n\nI'm washing my hands before I know\n[[what|calling]] I'm doing.\nAnd I'm leaving, but I'm leaving\n[[myself|finally]] behind.\nThough, even as I set myself up,\nI feel set up.\nDespite my [[misgivings|stranger]], at least\nit feels final.\nNevertheless.\nYour head was tucked, undignified\nbeneath the [[tank|blunt]].\nYou were heavy and you were dead\nbut you were malleable enough.\nI'm no expert, but you didn't \ndie long ago.\nSetting you up,\nI couldn't imagine what else\nI could do [[for|run]] you. \nCrossed your arms [[on|looks]] your lap.\nNo matter what comes to light,\nthey'll have this final vision \nof you\nas perfect as I can make it\ngiven the circumstances.\nWhen they find [[me|yours]], I won't explain.
I could bring those pointed nails\nto [[my|worry]] cheek. \nI leave, feeling more pure,\nfrom the bathroom stall.\n\nI'm washing my hands before I know\n[[what|calling]] I'm doing.\nAnd I'm leaving, but I'm leaving\n[[myself|finally]] behind.\nThough, even as I set myself up,\nI feel set up.\nDespite my [[misgivings|stranger]], at least\nit feels final.\nNevertheless.\nYour head was tucked, undignified\nbeneath the [[tank|blunt]].\nYou were heavy and you were dead\nbut you were malleable enough.\nI'm no expert, but you didn't \ndie long ago.\nSetting you up,\nI couldn't imagine what else\nI could do [[for|run]] you. \nCrossed your arms [[on|looks]] your lap.\nNo matter what comes to light,\nthey'll have this final vision \nof you\nas perfect as I can make it\ngiven the circumstances.\nWhen they find [[me|yours]], I won't explain.
Though, even as I set myself up,\nI feel set up.\nDespite my [[misgivings|stranger]], at least\nit feels final.\nNevertheless.\nYour head was tucked, undignified\nbeneath the [[tank|blunt]].\nYou were heavy and you were dead\nbut you were malleable enough.\nI'm no expert, but you didn't \ndie long ago.\nSetting you up,\nI couldn't imagine what else\nI could do [[for|run]] you. \nCrossed your arms [[on|looks]] your lap.\nNo matter what comes to light,\nthey'll have this final vision \nof you\nas perfect as I can make it\ngiven the circumstances.\nWhen they find [[me|yours]], I won't explain.
And I'm leaving, but I'm leaving\n[[myself|finally]] behind.\nThough, even as I set myself up,\nI feel set up.\nDespite my [[misgivings|stranger]], at least\nit feels final.\nNevertheless.\nYour head was tucked, undignified\nbeneath the [[tank|blunt]].\nYou were heavy and you were dead\nbut you were malleable enough.\nI'm no expert, but you didn't \ndie long ago.\nSetting you up,\nI couldn't imagine what else\nI could do [[for|run]] you. \nCrossed your arms [[on|looks]] your lap.\nNo matter what comes to light,\nthey'll have this final vision \nof you\nas perfect as I can make it\ngiven the circumstances.\nWhen they find [[me|yours]], I won't explain.
You were heavy and you were dead\nbut you were malleable enough.\nI'm no expert, but you didn't \ndie long ago.\nSetting you up,\nI couldn't imagine what else\nI could do [[for|run]] you. \nCrossed your arms [[on|looks]] your lap.\nNo matter what comes to light,\nthey'll have this final vision \nof you\nas perfect as I can make it\ngiven the circumstances.\nWhen they find [[me|yours]], I won't explain.
Nevertheless.\nYour head was tucked, undignified\nbeneath the [[tank|blunt]].\nYou were heavy and you were dead\nbut you were malleable enough.\nI'm no expert, but you didn't \ndie long ago.\nSetting you up,\nI couldn't imagine what else\nI could do [[for|run]] you. \nCrossed your arms [[on|looks]] your lap.\nNo matter what comes to light,\nthey'll have this final vision \nof you\nas perfect as I can make it\ngiven the circumstances.\nWhen they find [[me|yours]], I won't explain.
If I'm to finally be found by my\nfellow man, let it be for something\nserious and false.\nLet it betray me.\nTo fall, unforgiving,\non something I [[insist|Trim5]] upon.
To run the worry out, bleed from\nme the anxiety of a life\nlived with no other companion.\nThe relief of it\ntrickles [[down|Trim3]] my neck.
Untitled Story
Caved in, with some blunt instrument.\nThe door, locked behind me \nprovided me with confidence and\nopportunity.\nI couldn't resist both.\nI tried to dignify you.\nMake your last response more of\nwhat one might want\nshould his [[corpse|Trim7]] be found\nin a toilet.
Run, my body said\nbut the future corpse in my mind\nknew better.\nStay, it said. This is your chance\nto [[speak|Trim8]] for the dead.
There is no demand for connection there.\nJust the wounding, and the\nwelling up of blood.\nMine [[running|Trim2]], yours still.
This stranger has given me that.\nNo quailing or backing down\nfrom half-meant threats.\nA solid certainty in the eyes\nof [[others|family]]. A final condemnation.\n
Crossed your arms [[on|looks]] your lap.\nNo matter what comes to light,\nthey'll have this final vision \nof you\nas perfect as I can make it\ngiven the circumstances.\nWhen they find [[me|yours]], I won't explain.
I'm not calling out for anyone. \nKnowing soon,\nthey'll be calling out for me.\nI don't know, I'll say,\nanswering the same question, but the one \nthey didn't ask.\nI [[don't|Trim4]] know.
Anonymous
I know you here, as no one else does.\nIntimacy beyond language,\nfor you are beyond language.\nI'll just sit with [[you|Trim1]] for a while.
But that's mine.\nI gave you yours.\nThat's [[mine|mine]].\n