I go on sitting there quietly, 13 years old and pregnant because of what my uncle did to me.\nThe End\n[[Back to start|Start]]
Its over. I'm lying facedown in the grass. My cheek is muddy from being pressed against the grass and my tears. I'm weeping into the grass. [[next|part10]]\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/43l946yr7/pic9.png]]
A month passes. Uncle Mike* doesn’t visit. I don’t think he likes me anymore. We were such good friends once, but he can't look at me since that day. I want to talk to someone about what happened. It was wrong, I know it was. I'm so frightened. Who do I turn to for advice? [[The Nuns at school|part12]]\n[[The Church|part13]] [[My Parents|part16]]\nor choose [[next|part14]]\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/w3pcofzmr/pic1.png]]\n
1983\nI didn’t want to, I really didn’t. He made me. I thought he was nice. My parents will kill me. I can’t believe this has happened. [[What am I going to do.|part1]] I’m only 13...\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/w3pcofzmr/pic1.png]]
I'm at school. The nuns are talking to us about sex education. 'Never lead on a man' they say, 'Its very bad for him if you say no after he gets excited'\n[[next|part13]]\n[[back to make another choice|part11]]\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/pd8vf0zmb/pic11.png]]
I'm at Mass. The priest is saying that girls shouldn't wear short skirts because it makes men want to sin. Women who wear short skirts are sluts and they are the reason that men cant control themselves. I hang my head. Uncle Mike* said that to me too so it must be true. I go home. \n[[next|part14]]\n[[back to make another choice|part11]]\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/6kx0bgaxv/pic12.png]]
'Get up' he says in a gruff voice. 'We have to get back'. I stand up and brush away mud and grass from my clothes. I hurt all over and inside. I can hardly walk. I'm shaking all over. What just happened? He really hurt me. \nHe looks at me then comes over and puts his arm around me. He says 'Anne*, you know I love you. All grown ups do this, it's completely normal. People do this when they love each other and I love you' He really seems to believe what he is saying and I'm too young and naive to know any different. I have trusted this man my whole life. When I'm feeling calmer we walk back to the car. When we're sitting in the car he turns to me and says in a serious voice: 'Anne*, what we did back there, you musn't tell anybody. Your Mum hasnt been well you know, it would worry her. you shouldn't have worn that skirt, you looked so pretty I couldn't help myself. It's your fault you know. You're too pretty.' I feel so ashamed that I made him lose control of himself. I wouldn't ever want to tell anyone anyway. We drive home in silence. [[next|part11]]\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/m6ebve7gj/pic10.png]]\n
His hands have moved from my shoulders and I don't like where he's touching me now. I say 'maybe we should be getting back, it'll be dark soon'. He doesn't listen. His breathing is harsh and heavy. Suddenly he feels like a stranger... \n[[next|part8]] or [[skip ahead to when the next scene is over|part10]]\n
I'm sitting at the breakfast table. I'm finding it hard to eat my cereal because I feel sick every morning now. I'll tell them today, I will, I promise. They won't be too angry will they? Isn't it his fault? I don't want to to tell them but they have to help me...\n[[next|part17]]\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/5imtsx7k3/pic13.png]]\n
My parents are talking about the upcoming abortion referendum at the table. 'Absolutely disgusting' says Dad. 'Only loose women would want that sort of thing brought here'. Mum agrees with him. 'We're voting no anyway, why cant women control themselves anyway. You make your bed and you lie in it, thats what I say!'\n[[back to make another choice|part11]]\n[[next|part18]]\n\n
I'm putting on weight. My school uniform feels tight. I know what's wrong but I don't want to think about it yet. I only did it once. I thought it couldn't happen if you only did it once? [[next|part15]]
I haven't told anyone. I'm wearing big cardigans to school. It's the fashion so no one's noticed...[[next|part16]]
He’s my uncle, my Godfather. Dad’s favourite brother. They all think he’s lovely. He’s always buying me sweets. Always bringing me to the cinema. Always listening to my problems. He’s cooler than Dad. Dads so old fashioned. Uncle Mike* is so with it. [[Ive always trusted him...|part2]]\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/6kx0bel7n/pic2.png]]\n\n
He's asked me to go for a hike in the mountains! We’ll have a great time, just him and me. 'It’s spring now and there’ll be lots of new flowers and baby animals around', he says. He knows just how much I love nature! Sounds like great fun! We'll bring a picnic! [[next|part3]]\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/8phdci9zn/pic3.png]]
I know he loves me. He's always hugging and kissing me. He’s so understanding, he always has time for me. Dad's always away working and is too tired to talk to me when he gets home. He just grunts from behind a newspaper. [[next|part4]] \n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/bwbww3zkj/pic4.png]]
Uncle Mike* talks to me about boys that I like at school. He gives me lots of advice about them. I don't really know much about what boys like. But Uncle Mike* has loads of tips! We're sitting near a waterfall now, eating our sandwiches. This is such bliss... [[then he shuffles closer to me on the rug|part5]]\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/hki7mzw77/pic5.png]]
Im feeling a bit cross after a row I've had with my Mum this morning. 'Tell me all about it', Uncle Mike* says. He starts massaging my shoulders, its very relaxing and soon I calm down. How nice he is, how caring! [[But...|part6]]\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/bjkipy4g3/pic6.png]]
...I'm starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. 'It's alright Anne*, this is very good for you. We're good friends aren't we?' he says softly. I relax again because I trust him. I've known him all my life haven't I? I dont want to spoil the lovely day we're having but [[something doesnt feel right...|part7]]\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/6xoehlb77/pic7.png]]
Justifying Repeal
He's hurting me, I can't move. He's so big and heavy. I can't struggle. I'm frozen, I'm numb, I can't shout. My mouth is open but no words can come out. In my head I'm screaming...\n[[next|part9]]\n[img[https://s19.postimg.cc/sk3eyn4mr/pic8.png]]
Jane Collins