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Twas the night before hunting, and all through the town, not a creatre was stirring
[[Not even an Elder Beast that lives in the moon]]
<<cacheaudio "Background" "https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/68455681/Christmas%20Music%20%20Deck%20The%20Halls.mp3" source_list>>
<<audio
"Background" play>>You awake in a hosiptal, wounds stitched up with care,
In your hand lays a blunderbus, an item most rare!
[[Examine Equipment]]
[[Look at the room]]
[[Look for the Children]]You're dressed in a long red coat, with white tassles and things
Your unshaven beard, white as a sheet.
Upon your feet, two large, black boots
And over your shoulder, a sack full of loot!
[[Back->Not even an Elder Beast that lives in the moon]] Around the room, so dim and dreary
Hang lights, bows and orniments so cheery.
In the corner you spy, a crumble note by the fire
"HO HO HO" It reads, in a font most dire
"Beware to you, my dear sweet friend.
My sleigh, my reindeer and my elves they apprehend!
I flee now, from this grim, naughty place
And leave you, my replacement, to finish this case!"
[[Back->Not even an Elder Beast that lives in the moon]]
You think of the children, nestled asleep in their beds
While visions of Beasts dances through their heads.
Shouldering your load, you slip on your cap
and take a quick look at your Yharnham Map.
Where will I go, you think to yourself
where is Christmas most needed to express itself
[[Cathedral Ward]]
[[Old Yharnam]]
[[Chalice Dungeons]]To Cathedral ward, you think
The citizens there will be tickled quite pink!
And so off you trudge, through the coffin laded streets
Your sack full to bursting of Chirstmas treats.
When there in the square, there arose such a clatter
That you lept from your alleyway, to see what was the matter!
In the center of the square, a gaggle of men quite abash
Watched a pyre burn, themselves acting quite rash!
[[Whistle, Shout, And Call Them By Name]]
[[Dash Away, Dash Away, Dash Away All]]The Old part of town, you nod in delight
Most certainly in need of some fair Christmas light.
And so on you stroll, through ally and street
Until after a while, you arrive at Old Yharnam's Feet.
To the first house you come, down the chimmney you bound
You draw in your head, and take a look around
[[A man all of fur from his head to his foot]]
Not knowing quite how, or knowing quite where
You find yourself lost, trapped in a snare.
For a while you wander, your feet echoing around
In these catacombs, built deep underground.
After a while, you at last come upon
A strange, large creature, its face woebegone.
You smile to yourself, at last at the fiend
And reach in your bag, for a gift to recieve.
Within moments you're dead, a snack for the beast
Merry Christmas after all, you're part of the feast!
[[Try Again?->Twas the night before the hunt]] They don't seem happy by your interruption
and indeed raise up pitchforks, and start a commotion
At you they come, swinging and swiping
And off so you run, away from their griping.
"What is the matter with these folks here in this city?"
"They act all full of humbug and frankly quite shitty"
You cross a bridge, still persued by the gang
Till there in your eye, A most perculiar man.
Dressed all in black, with the beak of a bird
He sets upon your pursuers, without even a word.
Within a moment they're gone, and he yet remains
So out of your sack, a gift he retains.
[[A shiny weapon!->Some new clothes!]]
[[Some new clothes!]]
[[A tasty treat->Some new clothes!]]
And flee you do, away from the horde
Finding yourself deep in the Cathedral Ward.
One beast here, a strange monster there
When all of a sudden, your eyes spring aware.
Old Nick's Sleigh, she lays just ahead!
Guarded by one, two, no three creatures of the Dead.
You shake your head, naughty children these are,
And stride forward, feeling ready to spar.
[[Throw a Preasent]]
[[Leap into the Sleigh]]What a strange man, this big burly beast
You edge into the room, and prepare a present at least.
More rapid than eagles his claws they came.
And he roared, and growled, and snarled out the game
You quickly toss a present or two,
and make your way up the nearby flue.
Atop the roof, you survey the land
[[And what do you see, but Old Nick's Hand]]Laying there on the floor, all pasty and Bland
What a turn of events, you ponder aloud
Old Nick is dead, and now you're what's around.
Shrugging your shoulders, and grabbing your sack
No time to lament, there are gifts to unpack!
And so on you go, from rooftop to top
Placing presents and gifts all over the shop.
To priests in Central, and Aliens in Old
You miss out no one, not one left in the cold.
And as the sun finally rose
Yharnham's hunt ended, as did this prose.
The hunters, the beasts, the elder beings too
Awoke on Christmas morning, a filled to brim with woo.
And you, the new Santa, who truely'd thought?
With this new power, your dark deeds have brought.
Old Nick's hand, still warm in your belly
Which you jiggled around, like a bowl full of jelly.
THE END
You bean one of the beasts, right square in the eye
And then sock his friend too, as you dash by.
The third beast though, is not quite as sluggish
And it's not too long, till you end up Rubbish.
Bits of your coat, red and white
Adorn Yharnam's streets till the end of the night.
And the beasts that you met, all happy and cheer
Feast on your bones, as Christmas draws near.
[[You Died. Try again?->Twas the night before the hunt]] The men scramble, growl and rush
but your fleet feet land you square on your tush.
Taking up the reigns, you chuckle with glee
"Onward my friends! Onward I say, One Two Three!"
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
High above the Yharnham Night
Free at last, from the evening of fright
So up to the Moon the coursers they flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and a huntsman's blade too.
The elder beings descended as the sleigh drew near
You clutched your sack tight, trying not to leer.
As the Elders attacked with their claws and teeth
Your fingers wrap around your gifts like a wreath
You litter them with gifts, toys and presents
But the Elders are mean, grinchy old revents.
Parting your lips, as you pull up your might
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
The EndYour new friend glares with a look in his eye
but quietly unwraps the gift in a nearby sty.
He thanks you with a grunt, and is then on his way
leaves you with a word, some advice you might say
"Beasts all over the shop, bewary my friend
Yharnham's no place for one to find their dark end.
Leave while you can, don't flounder or saunter
What is friendship, but a chance encounter?"
With that he's gone, and you left alone
You wonder some time through the streets paved with bone
Till you come across such a splenderous sight!
St Nicks Sleigh, right there in the light!
Only 3 men guard it, not too hard a fight
so you roll up your sleeves, and step into the night
[[Throw a Preasent]]
[[Leap into the Sleigh]]