This card is <<print either("rectangular","spherical","a cube","rat-shaped","square","egg-shaped","a floating patch of unusually solid air","odd","cool","pear-shaped","unusual","not","conventional","card-shaped","unconventional","ominous","lemon-scented","void-scented","strawberry-scented","ammonia-scented","covered in mysterious goo","plain","suspicious","cuboid","circular","many-faceted","nightmarish","imaginary","carved into your mirror","conveyed to you in sleep","dissonant","written in symbols, like those on the flanks of the Bazaar","inscribed on an ancient tablet","carved into the skin of a delivery-goat","just kinda there", "unplain", "mysterious","surrounded by bees","full of friendly gallblighters","emanating a blue fog","cardy","Christmassy","Ratmassy","Hallowmassy","Massy","extremely","unfathomable","stored inside a box of sunlight","stored inside a box of moonlight","glowing amber and gold","written on the back of a deed for a derelict mansion","relayed to you by means of cat","flecked with serpent-venom","from a future that never was","from a past that never was","from a certain future","from an alternate present","a present","given to you by a cloaked figure","produced by Mr Sacks","a lemon","trapped inside your kitchen drawer","a manifestation of time","endlessly flickering between timeplanes","a probabalistic waveform","blue","not card-shaped","fortunate","unfortunate","swarming with Huz","full of bloatfingers","actually a kind of exotic worm","just plain ol' normal Christmas card fare","a reminder of your dreadful fate","a living card from Polythreme","a candle","a reminder of your future","a reminder of your past")>>, coloured <<print either("red","blue","green","orange","black","irrigo","violant","peligin","viric","cosmogone","apocyanic","gant","blood","cyan","gold","magenta","white","yellow","emptiness","sunset gold","sky blue","octarine","nothing","blankness","chocolate","egg-white","rat-fur","void-dye","carmine","carnelian","sapphire","pearl","something you really can't describe","a hue you saw once in a dream","death","snow","diamond","gold","fear","steam-grey","spiderweb","razor","russet","amber","Bazaar-black","spire-white","night","navy","Dawn-Machine-gold","aubergine","coffee","midnight","curiosity","maroon","crimson","powder blue","greener","blacker-than-black, the colour of the unlawed sky","amber","blue amber","wobbly amber","lemon","lemon-slime","eggshell","egg yolk","eggshell-black","Christmas","bean","Master-blood","airag","wine","lacre","mystery","with all the hues of the sunrise","with all the hues of the moonrise","sunlight","moonlight","blood","tears","strangely","impossibly","beige","Beige Two","cat-hair","Huz-carapace","bloatfinger-flesh","paint catalogue red","typewriter black","in pigments from the Elder Continent","with paints stolen from July's Roost","with pigments brewed from marshwater","with Drownie-tears","other red","aquamarine","ultramarine","spacemarine","Master-eye blue","ultrablack","hotblack","pelican","virrigo","cosmogant","apocyan","apogant","pelirrigo","virigin","virigant","cosmocyan","Unterzeegreen","mirror-silver","shiny gold","shiny","glitter","with gloam-foam","skyglass","ravenglass","carnation","stocking-red","like the spires of Caution","tongue","brass","lengual-pink","cat paint-pink","honey-yellow","honey-red","panther-black","hyphens","with the shade of a gallblighted eye","green and gold","with all the glories of the horizon","with your past","with unsavory details","colours","dreams","nightmares","extracted venom","extracted poison","bees","ivory","stygian ivory","the shade of the far country","dark","darker","yet darker","pewter","glory","griswine","candle-black","wax-white","false-light","knife-token","steel","iron","bronze","sapphire","ruby","emerald","gemerald","soul-stain","enamel","tooth enamel","devilbone","Irem-rose-red","butter","scarab-carapace","phosphoresence","platinum","with Dr. Schlomo's writings, rendered into a paste and spread thinly over everything","Correspondence","stone-tentacle","destiny","newspaper-grey","soul-green","soul-blue","soul-grey","soulfully","wax","ray-drenched cinder","like a memory of light","enigmatically","like zzoup","like dark-dewed cherries","like an unkind truth","like an unwelcome rumour","royal-blue","pink","flint")>> and <<print either("red","blue","green","orange","black","irrigo","violant","peligin","viric","cosmogone","apocyanic","gant","blood","cyan","gold","magenta","white","yellow","emptiness","sunset gold","sky blue","octarine","nothing","blankness","chocolate","egg-white","rat-fur","void-dye","carmine","carnelian","sapphire","pearl","something you really can't describe","a hue you saw once in a dream","death","snow","diamond","gold","fear","steam-grey","spiderweb","razor","russet","amber","Bazaar-black","spire-white","night","navy","Dawn-Machine-gold","aubergine","coffee","midnight","curiosity","maroon","crimson","powder blue","greener","darker-than-dark, the shade of Liberated Night","obsidian","lemon","pink","blacker-than-black, the colour of the unlawed sky","amber","blue amber","wobbly amber","lemon","lemon-slime","eggshell","egg yolk","eggshell-black","Christmas","bean","Master-blood","airag","wine","lacre","mystery","with all the hues of the sunrise","with all the hues of the moonrise","sunlight","moonlight","blood","tears","strangely","impossibly","beige","Beige Two","cat-hair","Huz-carapace","bloatfinger-flesh","paint catalogue red","typewriter black","in pigments from the Elder Continent","with paints stolen from July's Roost","with pigments brewed from marshwater","with Drownie-tears","other red","aquamarine","ultramarine","spacemarine","Master-eye blue","ultrablack","hotblack","pelican","virrigo","cosmogant","apocyan","apogant","pelirrigo","virigin","virigant","cosmocyan","Unterzeegreen","mirror-silver","shiny gold","shiny","glitter","with gloam-foam","skyglass","ravenglass","carnation","stocking-red","like the spires of Caution","tongue","brass","lengual-pink","cat paint-pink","honey-yellow","honey-red","panther-black","hyphens","with the shade of a gallblighted eye","green and gold","with all the glories of the horizon","with your past","with unsavory details","colours","dreams","nightmares","extracted venom","extracted poison","bees","ivory","stygian ivory","the shade of the far country","dark","darker","yet darker","pewter","glory","griswine","candle-black","wax-white","false-light","knife-token","steel","iron","bronze","sapphire","ruby","emerald","gemerald","soul-stain","enamel","tooth enamel","devilbone","Irem-rose-red","butter","scarab-carapace","phosphoresence","platinum","with Dr. Schlomo's writings, rendered into a paste and spread thinly over everything","Correspondence","stone-tentacle","destiny","newspaper-grey","soul-green","soul-blue","soul-grey","soulfully","wax","ray-drenched cinder","like a memory of light","enigmatically","like zzoup","like dark-dewed cherries","like an unkind truth","like an unwelcome rumour","royal-blue","pink","flint")>>. There is a design featuring prominent elements of <<print either("rats","snow","birds","zee-bats","the Unterzee","giant crabs","an egg","you. Huh","Dr. Schlomo","the Sun","the Dawn Machine","the Cheesemonger","Mt. Nomad","The Bazaar","Mr. Sacks","a Rubbery Man","a rugged zailor","Mr Eaten","Mr Wines","Mr Hearts","Mr Spices","The Vake","Mr Veils","a nun","Sinning Jenny","giant-er crabs","the Avid Horizon","postmen","Christmas Cards","Velocipedes","the Tiger Keeper","Nuncio's Royal Male","goats","blood","a slow boat on a silent river","a Rat of Glory","the Knife-and-Candle","Jack-of-Smiles","knives","the Shuttered Palace","elements","a cheerfully festive devil","God","the coming apocalypse","The Mountain of Light","eternal darkness","the Dragons Which Devour Time","the RNG","glacierats","Death","a really gross tomb-colonist","your unknown fears","your known fears","lacre","unknowable geometries","midnight","stars","the New Sequence","glim","false-stars","your rival","assassins","reckonings","money","mushrooms","spirifers","albino rats in snow","the Fourth City","The Third City","The Second City","The First City","Polythreme","nightmares","Parabola","a curious clothier","crystals","autumn leaves","a well","your own death. Oh dear","distressing cannibalism","Huffam","Huffam! May his skin burst and his tongue boil eternally","The Boatman","spider-councils","Lorn-Flukes","The Fathomking's Hold","aspects","design","unimaginable concepts","the Sundered Sea of the Bazaar","Caution, that far-off city at the Elder Continent's heart","caution","the North","the Chapel of Lights","a hungry, hungry well","your forgotten scandals","the Liberation of Night","Irem","Adam's Way","the Surface, far above","the under-Unterzee","the Peligin Wash","zzoup","butchered zee-creatures","the end of all things","the blood of the Masters","the East","Frostfound","your own life","horseheads","feathers","truth","beauty","rat bees","mutation","amalgamy","the colour of the unseen","the breath of the void","the tracks between the stars","the transit of messages","couriers","the Seven-Serpent","bloatfingers","bloatapples","chertapples","the fires of the deep earth","the glories of the deep sky","the freedom of being free","the imprisonment of freedom","the Americas","Nuncio","whatever the Red Science is","a rock from space","a rock, not from space","flint","a piece of a royal scientist","skeletons","determination","the consumption of the soul","elements","God","the College of St. Cyriac","the Chapel of Lights","the guardian of the Chapel of Lights","Correspondence","the shell of a star","a coffin","heartmetal","suffering","unfunny jokes","eight million puns","the eyes of heaven","vampires","cool vampires","the invention of the sunglass","moonlight","sunlight","bagels","coffee","energy","a treatise proposing that the fish of the Unterzee will rise up and destroy London, claiming it as their own sovereign nation, which they will rule over for three thousand years before being defeated by the seashells, which will rise up in turn to protest their exclusion from the grand fishperson empire","the Fathomking's Hold","avarice","swank","a platinum ship","a platinum chip","unlawed time","the grip of the Dawn Machine","the ecstacy of eating chains","the desires of the heights")>>.\n\n<<print either("Now, lets look inside!","The following message flashes across your eyes;","Suddenly, you become aware of the contents","What does it say?","What's inside?","Nothing is written within. But that night, when you sleep, you hear these words...","Time to read!","As you look at the card, a voice in your ear whispers...","What does the card say?","This is what the card says;","This is its message","Hopefully this isn't a bad idea...","But forget that card, have a look at this one:","Inside that card, you find another card...","This reminds you of a message...","","A passing postperson offers this translation:","If you'd ever studied Ancient Greek, you'd know this is what it says:","Might as well read it","Time to use the ol' visionspheres","Bring this card to a wise scholar, and this is what they might say:","You trade your card to a passing urchin, who passes on this message:","The card shouts at you!","To fully understand this card, you must consume it","Hey!","Reading this probably won't be the worst decision you make all day.","Incorporating the card in a four-course meal reveals this truth:","Here's a colon:","Here's a comma,","Well...","From that, we get this,","As far as Benthic College understands, this is the message it's supposed to convey:","In Parabola,","You slide the card under the Glass Door of the Bazaar. Through that door, you hear these words...")>>\n<<print either("Dear","You will be a candle for us all,","Oi,","Attention;","Help,","Wow,","Hey","Alert","Hello","Greetings","-","","Agh! It's","Thinking of you,","I hate you, goddammit","You're the worst,","Festive greetings,","Happy Holidays,","Merry Christmas","Comrade","Salutations","You,","The name of my hated foe;","Oh no it's","The Liberation Of","I wish my name was","Hail","Yo","Greeting,","Oh, it's","You're","I'm","What do I put here,","Goodbye","Who is","Incredible,","Hi hi hello","Ratmas tidings,","Festive wishes,","You are","Welcome","Ayyyy","Ay","Your name isn't","Doctor","Professor","Hey! Is this thing on,","Where you at,","What's the haps","Are you sitting comfortably,","Hola","Good morning","Good evening","Goodnight","Happy Christmas","Good Christmas","Merry Holidays","Enjoyable Holiday","Hope you have a good Christmas,","Hope you have an acceptable Christmas,","Hope you have a terrible Christmas,","Hope you have a decent Ratmas,","You were expecting a Christmas card, but it was me,","What have you achieved,","Was it worth it,","Can you help me solve this puzzle,","But nobody came.","The winds are wild,","Do you recall how we came to that place,")>> <<print $Name>><<print either(".","!","?","...","",":",";","-","‽")>>\n<<print either("Cheers!","Merry Christmas!","The lacre is deep.","Happy holidays!","Festive Festive Season Of Your Choice!","Wonderful Winter!","I'm trapped in a Christmas Card factory, send help!","I hate you, please die.","You're pretty cool.","Happy birthday!","Ratmas greetings!","Hello.","I will destroy you utterly, this I vow.","aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.","Happy Soon To Be New Year!","We are best friends now.","We are arch nemeses now.","Cool!","Wow.","Good work.","Get well soon!","Who even are you?","No hard feelings.","Good Time.","","This card will self destruct in 5 seconds.","[a squiggly weird symbol that hurts your eyes].","[chess notation].","[a long winded love poem].","[The entire text of Shakespeare's Macbeth].","Egg.","Happy Hallowmas!","I came back from the grave to tell you that","I don't want you to know that","The following statement is false;","Happy It!","Good Morning.","What's the deal?","What's happening?","Hey, is this thing on?","Hola.","Good morning.","Good evening.","Goodnight.","Happy Christmas.","Good Christmas.","Merry Holidays.","Enjoyable Holiday.","Hope you have a good Christmas.","Hope you have an acceptable Christmas.","Hope you have a terrible Christmas.","Hope you have a decent Ratmas.","You were expecting a Christmas card, but it was me, Ratmas Card!","What have you achieved?","Was it worth it?","Can you help me solve this puzzle?","You should probably be aware that","Did you know that","It's not true that","If I were real I would","I want you to know that","The New Sequence, no,","The Calendar Council, no,","The Masters, no,","Me, no,","You, no","")>> I hope your <<print either("holidays","rats","horrendous diseases","legs","foodstuffs","camels","family","friends","eggs","copies of Macbeth","ravens","bits of wax","thoughts","ears","houses","warty bits","lives","terrible habits","table manners","secrets which only I know","scandalous appetites","tendencies to consume everything around you","Christmas Cards","beliefs","hideous visages","secret identities","journeys","Echoes","valuables","plots","grand designs","chairs","Revolutionary plots","relics","candles","years","eyes","faces","hopes","dreams","meals","archaeological expeditions","trips across the Zee","scandals","secrets","obscenities","loves","hates","lodgings","Rats of Glory","hopes and dreams","determinants","waveforms","cats in boxes","cats freed from boxes","chains","amalgamous lovers","deadly enemies","deadly friends","pet bloatfingers","chertinesses","wounds","nightmares","suspicions","fruits","secret japanese comics","phrasebooks","boxes","boxen","contraband items","red honey habits","acquaintances","assistants","guns","gun's","swoords","bishops","memories of the Surface","contaminated biomasses","zombies","unzombies","testimonials","kisses","seasons","lives","alternate selves","musical performances","christs","masses","Ratmasses","rat masses","cinders","damns","dams","faces","souls","inhumanities","love stories","well-songs","secret miracles","spoors","paintings","secrets framed in gold","ambitions","enigmas","medals","copies of your words","secret adorations of the Dawn Machine","public adorations of the Dawn Machine","revolutionary pamphlets","materials for the Great Work","letters of the Name-Which-Burns","spires","banes","vanes","knot-names","names","timeplanes","punches","beetles","gallblighted eyes","trade secrets","cats","orbs","statues","flakes of flint","head-mushrooms","memories of Paris","glimpses of the future","balls of twine","contraband mirrorcatch boxes","tendencies to jump on a bollard and yell about halfpeople","tendencies to writhe in blood-ivy","tendencies to bleed from the eyes","battle tendencies","punchghosts","Drownies","blemmigans","stories","aspects","knives","snarling stones arising from sleep","reflections","choirs")>> are <<print either("commingled","good","great","hidden","exposed","dead","terminated","unwell","sad","destroyed","laid bare","on fire","cheerful","festive","safe","unsafe","taken by the well","lost","eaten","liberated","wobbly","spiteful","lacreous","disgusting","hideous","like your face; godawful","like your face; very attractive","like your face; forgettable","trapped in the post","all mine","kept secret and safe","forgotten","dark","salty","melted as wax","consigned to the Wax-Wind","Liberated","afraid","kept in the dark","erased","happy","healthy","gallblighted","imprisoned","eaten by a knot-oracle","cheerfuller","locked in a prison of flint","dropped on a basalt floor","cracked","okay, I guess","full of hope","filled with determination","told lots of extremely good jokes","Welsh","forgotten entirely","fed to the Seven-Serpent","lost in Frostfound","stuck in Wisdom","put inside a box, which is then given to someone who drops it into the Unterzee","","just, uh, there","overgrown with mushrooms","eaten by the Huz","burned in the rose-fields of Hell","well-drawn","fed to the Behemoustaches","the subject of wonderful blemmigan poetry","dropped into the Sundered Sea","reanimated as a lacre-golem","thrown through the Avid Horizon","broadcast to the heavens","eaten by a star","killed","utterly exterminated","foiled by a tiny dog","defeated by a plant","accidentally consumed","weird","caused by a case of mistaken identity","the subject of a really bad poem","just some nonsense a Tortoise made up","flayed by the Blue Prophets","whispered in the spires of the Bazaar","written in the margins of the Master's Daybook","stored within the ur-sock","transformed","transfigured","amalgamated","forbidden","expressly responsible for new laws being created","explicitly responsible for the Liberation of Night","the key to it all","explicitly reponsible for the destruction of the Sequence","prevented by the Great Chain","forever immortalised","frozen in ice","frozen in flint","frozen in law!","scrutinized by the White","remembered in Salt","cast out of the Garden","just kind of alright","almost always forgotten","almost never remembered","confounded","hidden within the Dark Room","hatched","chertified","turned into a horse","remembered as a tale told under the earth","exalted by the suns")>><<print either(".","?","!","","‽")>>\n<<print either("All the best,","I hate you,","The seventh city will never fall, and all of us will live.","You disgust me,","I love you,","Goodbye,","Please consume yourself, for all of our sakes,","Are you dead yet?","The assassins will strike at dawn,","Merry Christmas,","Happy Holidays,","Goodbye forever,","I hope to never see you again,","Sincerely,","Insincerely,","Sardonically,","Eternally yours","Regretfully,","Sclera. Limbus. Noctis. Animus.","From the shadows,","Right behind you,","Good night,","Merry Ratmas,","May you and your rats be saved,","FOR THE LIBERATION,","May we some day meet again,","This will be the last time you hear from me,","Destroy this letter,","From a safe distance,","Wishing you the best,","Have a stab-free season,","Get stabbed repeatedly,","Stop, no, please, I beg you,","From the depths,","You'll never take me alive!","Hyperbolically yours,","In the name of Dawn,","For the Judgements,","This broadcast brought to you by","Sponsored by","","In another world, I would be","In memory of Satan,","In roses,","In lacre,","In memory,","My real identity will remain a secret, but always think of me as","You'll never guess who I am, but I'm definitely not","Remember me when I go East,","Remember me when I go North,","Remember me when I go South,","Remember me, just, in general,","Forget me","By the time you read this, it's already too late,","This is the only way I can communicate, please, help, I have been widely distributed through the fabric of reality,","You will be a candle for us all","I am filled with determination,","Let us eradicate this worthless world and move on to the next,","Never hope to halt what comes,","The Chain Forbids.","No.","It's rude to gossip about someone who's listening,")>>\n<<print either("Your friend","Your mother","Your aunt","Your arch-nemesis","Your eternal love","Your hated foe","The Postmaster","The Manager","Mr Wines","Mr Eaten","Mr Spices","Mr Rats","Mr Hat","Me","You","Your benefactor","Your malefactor","I don't actually know you, I just sent this at random","Her Eternal Majesty","The Bazaar","Your dad","Your uncle","Your soon-to-be murderer","The Risen God","Hillock","The Sun","The Royal Mail's Emissary","The Fathomking","Sven","The Cheesemonger","The dark reflection of your soul.........","The Merchant Venturer","A hatred elemental","Death","Fate","Your long-lost aunt","Your evil dad","Your hate-filled left hand","","The assassins which will arrive at dawn","Someone you don't know, will never know, but who will always know you","The Duchess","Your daughter","Your son","Your long-lost sock","Your sister","Your brother","Your pursuer","Your minor nemesis","Your acquaintance","Your best pal","An animate egg","The long-dead God","The Radical Factotum","December","The Dawn Machine","The Admirality","Satan","Your secret admirer","The Brimstone Convention","A Devil","Your worst nightmare!","You, but from the future","Huffam. (Man, you hate that guy)","Huffam","The Boatman","The Emissary of Spiders","The Sun","The Radical Factotum","February","Lilac","All your old friends","All your old enemies","The Royal Male","","Salt","silence","Sans","W.D. Gaster","Mr Candles","Mr E","Mr Apples","Mr Hearts","Mr Names","Mr Mirrors","Mr Cups","Mr Fires","Mr Iron","All of us here in the Bazaar","Mr Sacks","July","August","September","October","November","December","January","February","March","April","May","June","The Commodore","Your Reflection","The Blithe Graduate","The Listless Baronet","The Deluged Docent","The Wistful Deviless","The Tartar Priest","Alexis","The Server, shortly before guttering like a dying star","A dying star","The White","The Messenger","The Message","The depths themselves","me irl","u irl","The Spirit of Ratmas Past","The Spirit of Ratmas Future","The Spirit of Ratmas Never","The Septemberist Council","The Huz","The Bloatfinger Gang","A Starved Man","The Nacreous Outcast","THE BISHOP OF SOUTHWARK","Posthumanity","The Thief of Faces","Amalgamy","The Great Chain","The Sequence","The Council of Dragons","Time","Another egg","The egg which hatched Parabola","The guy who really wants a high five","The Sallow Spirifer","Your soul","The Soulless Messenger","The Orts","The Surgeon's Child","The Cladery Heir","Not who you think","A Bat with Attitude","An Exceptional Hat","A wild pair of Lenguals","Pluralization","Emperor Crispin IV, Greatest Of His Name","The Delightful Adventuress","The Merciless Modiste","The Pirate Poet","Me","Goku","The Smiling Priest")>>.\n\n[[Another!|Cards]]\n[[Input a new name|Start]]
Who are these cards addressed to?\n\n<<textinput $Name [[ENTER NAME|Cards]]>>\n\n[[Fallen London is © 2014 and ™ Failbetter Games Limited: www.fallenlondon.com. This is an unofficial fan work.|http://www.fallenlondon.com]]
Spacemarine9\n
Christmas Card Machine