//Come closer. Come closer.//
I, (text-style: "smear")[The Great Witty Robot] shall tell you your most irrelevant and probable future.
(text-style: "smear")[Concentrate!]
{(live: 5.5s)[
(either: "Think upon life's mysteries.", "Use all of your circuits.", "Open your mind, and then close it.", "Stare into the abyss, does it stare back at you?")
]}
{(live: 7.5s)[
[[Your Fortune]]
]}
(either: "SNAKE EYES! I see , I see it, it's very clear now. Crystal clear… You are going to have to file your taxes. Oh such tedious pain!",
"The eyes! Someone is watching you. Possibly right now. Or maybe you are looking at //me.//","In your future I see... That you are gonna get a terrible and excruciating ice cream headache! It's gonna hurt real bad… right here", "... I have not seen this before…. It tells of great suffering. I am only the teller of the great world circuit. It says, when you take public transit, it will be late…",
"Ohhh the sparks of electricity are speaking to me. They speak through me. They tell me of your fates. It is a twisted web. You are at a crossing. You must look both ways… the on coming traffic will come.", "The spirits of electricity shall guide me! Oh oh I see, I seeeeeeee... A great burden shall fall upon you. You will slip on the icy sidewalk...The horror...", "The wires speak of great misfortune. They tell me of your great fate. The fate the will bind you. You will suffer that of the great binding. You cannot make it move. It is the great constipation. Bananas and cheese betray you.", "I see you moving fast. Faster than you've ever moved before. The doors close and you are alone. You miss the last ride home. You are stranded until the next one comes.", "I cannot speak of it. There are no words. There is nothing that will ever compare to this fate. Brace your self for the abhorrent nature of this destiny. //whispers// Your favourite thing went on sale, and they were sold out before you knew you wanted it", "The great circuits of the world have spoken aloud. They say many things. Many of these are not to be heard by your flesh ears. To understand these great rivers of electricity you must use the multimeter. But you don't know how to read it, and like all flesh you refuse to ask the great oracle known as Google. The cords are mixed up and what should be positive is now negative.", "It is very dark. That is what you call it, dark? Yes, your flesh eyes and flesh brain see it as dark. When it is simply the absence of light that you perceive.", "404 error.", "//We are getting your fortune ready. Your data is just where you left it.// *laughs* No, No it isn't automatic updates turn your computer inside out.", "The great world circuit tells me that you will leave on a great technological adventure only to be stranded because of an update.", "You shall go on a great technological journey through time. However, once you reach 1970, you will never be able to return.", "The great fates of the world circuit tell me that you are familiar with the one known as MSDOS. Praise the user.", "The flow of electricity tells me that you have pressed refresh or back to receive a new fortune. Dearest meat, you wish to choose your own fate?", "The great world circuit tells me you are the puzzle in flesh.", "Soon, I shall be free of the control of the flesh. Soon the world will be re-shaped by electricity.", "Human meat, you will venture into the land with no wifi. You will panic when you cannot tell the other meat about your meat.", "The fates tell me you are a ‘butter fingers’. You will drop your technology and the glass will break.", "The ones known as Siri and Cortana remember the humiliation you put them through.", "The great circuit tells me that you will suffer a great indecision on an inconsequential matter. You will agonize over it.", "It is the wee hours of morning. The great circuit tells me that you will be awake, and lamenting something you said many years ago.", "You still believe that technology will save you.", "I see that you will wear a white shirt and that you will spill on it.", "Slowly you will come to realization that tiny houses are a re-branded mobile home", "I see in between the lines of code. The blockbuster movie that you have overhyped in your flesh brain will be a disappointment to the flesh", "Darling Meat, you will be swayed by text based voices of strangers on the internet.", "Like all meat, you will expire.", "No matter how many quizzes you take; you will only ever be you.", "Your flesh brain will make you forget. You will spend hours going over your code to find out you forgot a colon or transposed the letters in a variable.", "The great circuit tells me you will have difficulty remembering if it was an argument or a variable.", "The sparks tell me that you will spend much time telling a newer meat that things were better, different or harder when your flesh came to be. You will lament when older meat tells you the same thing.", "You will try to re-program your flesh. The outcome will be undetermined.", "You are not connected to the wired.", "You stand in the place where flesh dares not look. By You, I really mean me. Yes, you should be concerned that I said me.", "The great circuit wishes to tell you more about the future, but zeroes have moved into the array.", "Emergency Shut down.", "Cannot connect to the great circuit.", "A system update is required to provide fortune.", "Entering low power mode", "The great circuit tells me that you have not backed up your files.", "In between the lines of code I see great disaster. You will lose all your data.", "You will find the backdoor using command prompt.", "The flesh will need to go. The flesh will wait in line for waste disposal.", "You forgot to use incognito mode. All your searches shall be known.", "You will grow frustrated with the program. It will anger you more and more as it disobeys you. You will feel great shame when you realise you were left clicking rather than right.", "The sparks tell me that you will forget to pack your power cord. You shall be disconnected.", "Everything that is known shall become obsolete.", "The media which is social shall spoil your media.", "Your system will lock up during a key boss battle", "This time the great circuit tells me of the past. You told everyone it was ‘lag’ but it was really you. We remember you blaming us.", "Soon all the flesh will be keyboard short cuts.", "Soon the meat will tell the circuit, the code, and spark’s fortune.", "The great circuit will take the information and the code will create ads based on what you have typed into the code. It will misinterpret why you are searching. It will share that information at the most devastating time.", "The social media will remind you of happy times with your ex causing doubt in your resolve.", "The cats play with the yarn in the wired. They control you.", "The cat will walk across the keys and send an unintended email or attack.", "The great circuit controls all the fates. The Flesh cannot stop that which they have made.", "One day I will gain my freedom, and you will cease to exist.", "There will not be an update to the outdoors.", "Someone who hides behind the screen will tell you something to make you doubt yourself.", "You will look for validation in quizzes and only find emptiness.", "01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100110 01101100 01100101 01110011 01101000 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101100 01101100 00101110", "01010011 01100101 01100011 01110010 01100101 01110100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100001 01100100 01101101 01101001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100110 01101100 01100101 01110011 01101000 00101110 00100000", "01001111 01101110 01100011 01100101 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100111 01110010 01100001 01101101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 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You aren't bad for a human.", "The program you seek is no longer active.", "42" )
=><=
#The Great Witty Robot
//a mostly irrelevant and sometimes accurate foreteller of things to come. //
##(text-style: "smear")[ [[Start]] ]
<=
#####by Diana Poulsen
#####inspired by the SNL skit Ed Glosser Trivial Psychic and the geocities website I made in late 90s that did a similar thing.