You're hanging out with some fishermen. Jard, one of the fishermen, begins laughing. You ask Jard: "What's so funny?" Jard stops laughing. You can tell the mood has changed. Now they are all angry, cold, annoyed. Jard looks you in the eyes and asks: "are you even a fisherman?" [["no"]] [["Yeah you bet I am."]] [["I don't understand the question."]] Jard takes a deep breath and starts laughing, he can't stop, he's crying he's laughing so hard. Jard keeps saying "wow." The others start laughing. They all start crying. They start sobbing. [["What the heck is goin on"]] [["I hate you!"]] Jard looks you up and down. "Okay, show us what you got." [["Oh, I mean I forgot my rod at home."]] [["Yeah here I go."]] [["Why don't YOU show me what YOU got."]] <img src="http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--lEzsWocY--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/1293953510409596963.png" alt="Rachel">Jard stops crying and looks you dead on. His eyes are puffy, bright red, angry. "Listen, we're fishermen. We fish. You obviously don't understand. You are one of those land people, you know what I mean. You aren't like us. You need to leave. NOW." [["Okay see you later."]] [["Dude what the heck you don't know me."]]"We hate you too! You don't even fish! You don't even understand! You're just like my dad!" "You're just like my dad! You don't even love me! You don't accept me for who I am!" You all begin crying about your fathers. You cry for hours, you cry forever. You think this is a healing experience but you are just crying with some fishermen. You age and get old and you're still crying. You leave. The fishermen spit on you as you leave the boat. Your feet feel heavy on land, like sandbags but more useless. You are useless, only knowing the way of the land. You drop to your knees, crying to the heavens. The heavens open up and accept you. The heavens bless you from miles above. You float through the sky and up to the heavens. You learn the laws of heaven, you learn them so good. You are a total expert on heaven. Years later the fishermen die and knock on the doors of heaven and you greet them. Oh yeah you greet the heck out of them. They ask to come in and you look at them you look at them right in their fish eyes and say "Listen, we're heaven people. We live in the heavens. You obviously don't understand. You are one of those sea people, you know what I mean. You aren't like us. You need to leave. NOW."The fishermen surround you, laughing and crying, the fishermen grab a hold of your weak land body. "we know you. we know exactly who you are." Your body is in the air, carried by the tough fishermen. You're scared, you just wanted friends, you just wanted to be loved. The fishermen toss you over the side of the boat. The boat is actually attached to the dock so you just fall on the dock. The fishermen were expecting you to land in the ocean and embarassed by their mistake they sail away while muttering excuses. You lay on the dock, looking up at the stars. Some other fishermen pull up on the dock and ask if you're okay, ask if you wanna hang out, ask how the land is. You exchange stories and you grow old together, encouraging and loving each other. "hey man that's okay i forget my rod at home all the time. Good thing Googer over here always has my back and has a spare rod for me. Don't ya Googer!" Googer nods into the sun. "Yo Googer can this young lad use your rod to show us what they got?" Googer nods into the sun. [[Use Gogger's fishing pole.]] [["Hey man not to be rude but I don't trust Googer."]] [["Hey man I don't trust Googer."]] You pull out the fishing rod you had in your pocket. You cast it out and wait no more than two minutes before it starts tuggin. You bring it in and whatever you caught is thrashing around. It's whipping you around the boat. You keep yellin "woah boy!" and "why I oughta!" The crew looks at you disapprovingly. Once you get a hold on the situation you bring your prize in. It turns out it's a gold fish. Some kid runs up and starts yelling at you. You stole their goldfish. Jard and the other fishermen are so mad wow they are so mad at you. [[Apologize to the child and give the goldfish back.]] [[Yell about how actually it's your fish.]] They all somehow agree. The fishermen take out their poles and start fishing. Somehow they all catch onto some dolphins. The dolphins don't care, and start swimming away. The dolphins just start pulling the boat away from the dock. Y'all are all sailing away to who knows where because these dolphins are carrying your boat. You think, hey this is pretty okay. Googer approaches you with his fishing pole. When he was standing far away he looked normal but as he walks toward you you realize he is at least eight feet tall. His fishing pole is larger than you. It's somehow heavier than you. You try to balance it over the boat but instead it tips over and you fall into the ocean. Googer is so mad he jumps into the ocean to save his pole. Due to his size he crushes you and saves his fishing rod. You are no longer living. Jard laughs. "Ha! I understand. I don't trust Googer either. Wow. He is the worst honestly. Thanks for being honest and polite. I really appreciate you. In fact, I know you are a fisherman because of your nice sweet behavior. Thanks man. Wow." You hug and Jard spits on you. You relish in the warm liquid. Jard runs up to you and punches you in the face. [[Fight back]] [[Run away]]You throw a punch at Jard and you miss because you have never thrown a punch in your life. Honestly what were you thinking. Jard punches you again and you fall onto the cooler with all their beer in it. Googer and the rest of the fisherman get so mad oh boy do they get mad. You trip and fall over their pile of cigarettes and somehow all the cigarettes end up in the ocean. Woo boy they are so mad they start dancing. Wow they cannot stop dancing they are that angry. You run into the night, away from the angry dancing fishermen. As you turn to run away your hand moves into the air and you slap Jard. You slap him right on his dumb lil cheek. Wow that's a red cheek. Jard falls to the ground and bows to you. The rest of the fishermen bow too. One person gives you the keys to the ship. You are now the captian. You tell them all to prove to you that they can fish. They fail to meet your impossible standards considering you don't know what fishing is. You fire them all. You now own a fishing boat and have no fishermen. You simply sail the ocean blue until you die from hunger because you can't catch a fish and you have no friends. "woah child I am so sorry look here is your fish i am so sorry wow boy am i so sorry i am embarrassed here you go kiddo." The fishermen start snickering, the kid starts snickering, and eventually they're all pointing and laughing at you. Jard gets up in your face "Hey loser that was a test and you flat out failed. Wow you are so so so not a fisherman. You are a total loser." [[Cry on the ground.]] [[Whispher an apology.]]"IT'S MY FISH. I AM SO MAD LOOK AT YOU THIS IS MY FISH NOT YOURS YOU ARE JUST A KID. THIS IS MY FISH I EARNED IT. SCREW Y'ALL THIS IS MY FISH! WHAT THE HECKIN!" You leave the boat with your fish in hand. Yeah you proved you're a real fisherman. But you didn't make any friends like you had wanted to. And you didn't figure out why they were all laughing. But heck you got a goldfish. You fall to the ground and cry. They start throwing fish at you. The kid comes over and tells you that you are not even a human being. You believe them all. You aren't even a human being. You are covered in fish. Somehow the fish stuff gets you stuck on the boat. You can't move you are now connected to the boat. They try to get you unstuck but nothing works, you are now attached to the boat forever. You are no longer a human being but a human-boat. You live out your life around people who hate you and themselves. "WHAT WAS THAT???" Oh boy is Jard angry. "LOOK JARD I SAID I'M SORRY. THAT'S RIGHT. I'M SORRY. THIS IS ME APOLOGIZING. WOW OKAY YOU NEED TO CALM THE CRUD DOWN! I'M JUST TRYING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND LOOK AT YOU YOU ARE SO MEAN. WOW. THIS IS SO CRUEL. I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WAS SO FUNNY AND LOOK LOOK Y'ALL ARE MEAN. WOW." Jard steps back and stares at his feet. He is really impressed. "Look man I'm sorry we were just having fun like you didn't have to get so serious and apologize. We're just fishermen having fun. I guess you're not a fisherman at all." [["That's right I'm not."]] [["Heckin I am a fisherman."]]Jard looks at you "Okay thanks for being honest. Now get the heck on outta here you don't get to know my jokes." You leave, the kid trips you and you land on a pelican. The pelican is mad wow that pelican is mad it starts eating your feet. You are walking so slow because you are so sad that the pelican just eats your feet off and you can't walk any more. You lay on the dock and stare into the sunset. "That's right! I knew it all along!" Jard is so happy. "Look i'll tell you my joke. it was real simple. it was about this chicken crossing the road. Have you heard that one before?" "Man that was what your joke was about?" "Man it was real funny." "What a bunch of losers." You walk into the sunset and you are happy with yourself.