Apologies! Your web browser lacks required capabilities. Please consider upgrading it or switching to a more modern web browser.
Initializing. Please wait…
In a cavern, in a canyon till 1849 there once lived [[Clementine |Begin]].
<<audio "sunglitters" fadein>>
<<audio "sunglitters" loop>>
She fixes her fathers breakfast, fried eggs and toast.
She should [[try to eat]] her own toast or [[wake her little sister |wake my little sister]].
<h3><div>
<span class="font2">//Sleep is such a beautiful reprieve. The sublime infinite nothingness...//</span></div></h3> But morning always comes. And for now she must [[get up]], and get on with the day.
Her father heads off to the mines.
She can barely get a bite down. It looks delicous. Crispy homeade bread covered in butter. But it doesn't matter, she can't muster up the appetite to enjoy it. <h3><div><span class="font2">//I have been wasting away, my betroathed says its becoming of a young lady, that I am "light and like a fairy" though truely I am little more than skin and bone these days.//</span></div></h3> She should [[wake her little sister |wake my little sister]]. It's practically nine already.
With their father off to the mines, she wakes her little sister.
She looks at her sister, so peaceful and happy.
Her sister is dancing around the kitchen, humming to herself.
She marvel's at the ease of her sisters joy. <h3><div><span class="font2">//How did I go from [[that]],
always happy and always laughing to... [[this]].//</span></div></h3>
<<audio "glasseasky2" fadein>>
<<audio "glasseasky2" loop>>
<<cacheaudio
"sunglitters"
"https://ia801502.us.archive.org/33/items/SunGlittersSynth119163.24PM/Sun%20Glitters%20Synth-%201_19_16%2c%203.24%20PM.ogg";
"https://ia601502.us.archive.org/33/items/SunGlittersSynth119163.24PM/Sun%20Glitters%20Synth-%201_19_16%2c%203.24%20PM.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"stratosphere5"
"https://ia601504.us.archive.org/26/items/StratosphereLayer52016012511.22AM/Stratosphere%20Layer%205%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.22%20AM.ogg";
"https://ia601504.us.archive.org/26/items/StratosphereLayer52016012511.22AM/Stratosphere%20Layer%205%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.22%20AM.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"eventhorizon5"
"https://ia801503.us.archive.org/10/items/EventHorizonLayer5/Event%20Horizon%20Layer%205.ogg";
"https://ia801503.us.archive.org/10/items/EventHorizonLayer5/Event%20Horizon%20Layer%205.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"wavespace4"
"https://ia801503.us.archive.org/1/items/WaveSpaceLayer42016012511.20AM/Wave%20Space%20Layer%204-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.20%20AM.ogg";
"https://ia601503.us.archive.org/1/items/WaveSpaceLayer42016012511.20AM/Wave%20Space%20Layer%204-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.20%20AM.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"stratosphere4"
"https://ia801509.us.archive.org/0/items/StratosphereLayer42016012511.18AM/Stratosphere%20Layer%204%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.18%20AM.ogg";
"https://ia801509.us.archive.org/0/items/StratosphereLayer42016012511.18AM/Stratosphere%20Layer%204%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.18%20AM.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"wavespace3"
"https://ia801501.us.archive.org/12/items/WaveSpaceLayer32016012511.11AM/Wave%20Space%20Layer%203%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.11%20AM.ogg";
"https://ia801501.us.archive.org/12/items/WaveSpaceLayer32016012511.11AM/Wave%20Space%20Layer%203%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.11%20AM.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"eventhorizon3"
"https://ia601502.us.archive.org/4/items/EventHorizonLayer32016012511.12AM/Event%20Horizon%20Layer%203-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.12%20AM.ogg";
"https://ia801502.us.archive.org/4/items/EventHorizonLayer32016012511.12AM/Event%20Horizon%20Layer%203-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.12%20AM.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"drownedsines3"
"https://ia801507.us.archive.org/26/items/DrownedSinesLayer32016012511.09AM/Drowned%20Sines%20Layer%203-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.09%20AM.ogg";
"https://ia801507.us.archive.org/26/items/DrownedSinesLayer32016012511.09AM/Drowned%20Sines%20Layer%203-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.09%20AM.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"stringmovements2"
"https://ia801501.us.archive.org/35/items/StringMovementsLayer22016012511.01AM/String%20Movements%20Layer%202%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.01%20AM.ogg";
"https://ia801501.us.archive.org/35/items/StringMovementsLayer22016012511.01AM/String%20Movements%20Layer%202%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.01%20AM.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"glasssky2" "https://ia801508.us.archive.org/32/items/GlassSkyLayer22016012511.02AM/Glass%20Sky%20Layer%202%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.02%20AM.ogg";
"https://ia601508.us.archive.org/32/items/GlassSkyLayer22016012511.02AM/Glass%20Sky%20Layer%202%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.02%20AM.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"glasseasky2"
"https://ia801503.us.archive.org/4/items/GlassSkyAndSeaLayer22016012511.06AM/Glass%20Sky%20and%20Sea%20Layer%202%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.06%20AM.ogg";
"https://ia801503.us.archive.org/4/items/GlassSkyAndSeaLayer22016012511.06AM/Glass%20Sky%20and%20Sea%20Layer%202%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2011.06%20AM.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"classicanalog1"
"https://ia801509.us.archive.org/12/items/ClassicAnalogPadLayer12016012510.56AM_201601/Classic%20Analog%20PadLayer%201%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2010.56%20AM.ogg";
"https://ia801509.us.archive.org/12/items/ClassicAnalogPadLayer12016012510.56AM_201601/Classic%20Analog%20PadLayer%201%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2010.56%20AM.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"stratosphere1"
"https://ia601501.us.archive.org/30/items/StratosphereLayer12016012510.54AM/Stratosphere%20Layer%201%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2010.54%20AM.ogg";
"https://ia601501.us.archive.org/30/items/StratosphereLayer12016012510.54AM/Stratosphere%20Layer%201%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2010.54%20AM.mp3";
>>
<<cacheaudio
"airways1"
"https://ia801500.us.archive.org/17/items/AirwaysLayer12016012510.53AM_201601/Airways%20Layer%201%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2010.53%20AM.ogg";
"https://ia801500.us.archive.org/17/items/AirwaysLayer12016012510.53AM_201601/Airways%20Layer%201%20-%202016-01-25%2c%2010.53%20AM.mp3";
>>
S. Laine
<h3><div>
<span class="font2">//The sun is bright and full of cheer.
Beaming with relentless rays of optimism.//</span>
</div> </h3> The light of day wakes her, she must [[get up]].
She can't remain ensconced in [[sleep]] for a moment longer.
<h3><div><span class="font2">//She and I used to look just the same, people could hardly tell us apart. But you can see it in our eyes now. Her's still bright and effervescent. Mine, dull and dreary.//</span></div></h3> She [[sends her sister into town]], under the pretense of fetching something or other.
Her sister takes the toast with her, heading off into town, her sister's been working with the local tailor lately. Taken to it completely, her hands were made for mending. <h3><div><span class="font2">//I am not good at anything, I am nothing. I'll be nothing more after today, remembered for nothing, dying like I lived, unremarkably.//</span></div></h3> She sets a large pot of water on the wood stove to heat for [[a bath]].
While she waits for the water to boil, she putters around [[the cabin]].
<<audio "sunglitters" fadeout>>
She begins to fade out, life ebbing and flowing out of her wrists. <h3><div><span class="font2">//It was like being welcomed into the sweetest of dreams, one I knew I would [[never wake from... |...]]//</span></div></h3>
<<audio "glasseasky2" fadeout>>
... and with that she was [[lost and gone forever]].
Upon hearing the news, her father is overtaken by his own darkness. His grief was [[bottomless]].
<<audio "drownedsines3" fadein>>
<<audio "drownedsines3" loop>>
Her younger sister found her pale [[body]].
<<audio "drownedsines3" fadein>>
<<audio "drownedsines3" loop>>
Her betrothed finds solace in her younger sister. At the funeral service, taking notice of the similarities in the sisters features. He also observed her younger sister seemed a more [[youthful vigor]].
<<audio "drownedsines3" fadein>>
<<audio "drownedsines3" loop>>
Rejigg the sounds! (loop all, and fade out for the death
end with a recognizable varition of the song)
Get in beta!
Spell check.
Splash.
she sinks
down
down
down
to the depths of the quarry.
The air in her lungs betraying her,
bringing her up to the surface, but by then it's too late.
Her once red lips are blue, and she is
gone
gone
gone[[...]]
<<audio "glasseasky2" fadeout>>
<<audio "eventhorizon3" fadeout>>
She takes the blade to her wrist, making the first incision. <h3><div><span class="font2">//It's like I got lost in the caverns. Infinitely dark and lonely, with no hope of seeing light again, too adrift in the tunnels. I disappeared into my melancholy, went numb to the dark until I was [[engulfed by it... |...]]//</span></div></h3>
<<audio "glasseasky2" fadeout>>
The grief is overwhelming, for [[her father]], [[her sister]] and [[her betrothed]].
<<audio "eventhorizon5" fadein>>
<<audio "eventhorizon5" loop>>
She goes outside in bare feet, having outgrown her shoes.
Intent on completing her morning chores, she brings the ducklings to the water down by [[abandoned quarry]] lake.
He didn't speak to anyone for days, not even his younger daughter. He couldn't even look at her. His precious daughter was gone, she had chosen to [[leave]].
In his grief, he wanted nothing more than to see his daughter again, to be with her.
So he went out to the old [[woodshed |gunshed]].
He picked up his rifle, he cleaned it and loaded the ammunition.
He let his finger hover over the trigger, [[just for a moment]].
<<audio "drownedsines3" fadeout>>
He wanted to [[reunite]] his family, to be with his daughter and late wife, to have the family together again. But his younger daughter... so full of grief yet still [[full of life.]]
He picks up the gun and goes back into the cabin.
He walks up behind his daughter humming to herself as she kneads some dough for bread. He sees no happiness in her eyes despite the cheerful tune she is humming. It sounds like a familiar lullaby.
He believes this will be best for both of them as he fires a bullet through her temple, and then his.
<<audio "eventhorizon5" fadeout>>
He takes solace in his younger daughter's strength to carry on despite her grief, that she may still live a beautiful life even though it has been marred by death.
His hand wavers, no longer. He ends his own life.
<<audio "eventhorizon5" fadeout>>
Her father blubbered like a child at the service. Her sister's betrothed was stone faced, and his family didn't intend due to the circumstances of her death. She was just shocked, utterly perplexed how her sister could do this to their family.
She wondered if her sister would be in heaven, but decided that her sin was unforgivable. Ending her life so callously, and leaving all this misery in her [[wake]].
There was no one to come to a wake, so they didn't have one. All their family and friends back on the east coast didn't even know yet.
The mother of her late sister's betrothed showed up at the house, after the service to discuss matters [[regarding the marriage]] with the girls father.
Her father was in [[no state]] to be taking visitors and the mother of the betrothed managed to badger the girl's father into upholding the engagement. Her little sister was to [[take her place]] in the marriage.
<<audio "drownedsines3" fadeout>>
It was the following day that she found her father in the woodshed. The inside of his head splattered all over the wall.
This body was nothing like her sisters, still pale corpse. Her father was mangled and disfigured, a disturbing sight, which sent her shrieking, then weeping, then into the arms of her new fiancé.
With that, all songs in her were silenced. She would still smile from time to time, but she never as much as hummed again.
<<audio "eventhorizon5" fadeout>>
Her fiance was not an unkind man. But he did not love her. Almost ten years her senior, but she accepted her fate. Hoping his family would be welcoming, having none left of her own.
They never would fall in love but she knew she made him happy, her similar features to her sister and the charm of her babbling songs. She found solace, in her ability to comfort others.
<<audio "eventhorizon5" fadeout>>
<h3><div><span class="font2">The woodshed is a cluttered mess, filled with hunting and fishing gear, complete with knives to butcher the animals and her father's trusted rifle. She rummages through a few boxes until find it, a long piece of frayed rope.</span></div></h3> She brings the rope with her as she heads out into [[the thicket]].
Her white dress hovers translucent in the water, it will stain once she starts to make the cuts. She examines her smooth wrists, decided which to start with [[left]] or [[right]].
She wades a little into the water just enough that it laps at her toes, keeping her eyes on the horizon. [[The cliffs]] seem so enticing.
She wanders up onto the cliffs. If she fell from such a height surely she would drown. One misplaced [[step]]. <h3><div><span class="font2">//My sister and I swam here as kids, never waded in too deep because father told us it was bottomless. Wouldn't that be lovely. To sink and sink and sink. Never to be found.//</span></div></h3> She sees [[the ducklings]] in the corner of her eye, squabbling, and splashing.
<<audio "eventhorizon3" fadein>>
The ducklings remind her of her fiancé's family, always arguing over nothing of consequence.<h3><div><span class="font2">//There was a time when I loved him, when the vigor and passion he exhibits was magnetizing. But I have become numb to it, repeated exposure, or perhaps all the shouting having deafened me.
Now I feel less for him than I do for these ducklings.//</span></div> </h3>The squabbling ducklings are still pretty little darlings, young and unencumbered by the trivialities and drudgery of [[the every day]].
She meanders through the bramble until she spots a familiar tree. <h3><div><span class="font2">//I remember climbing this tree like it was yesterday, scrambling up and down. Exhilarated and terrified I might fall, but I am not anymore.
Nothing terrifies me more than the seemingly infinite amount of time in a day, the endlessness of it all.//</span></div></h3> She ties [[a noose ...|...]]
<<audio "glasseasky2" fadeout>>
<<audio "eventhorizon3" fadeout>>
She washes down the dishes and silverware from breakfast.<h3><div><span class="font2">//I used to feel such a sense of accomplishment after a task well done. But now I am just going through the motions, completing my routine, repeating the same day endlessly.//</span></div> </h3> She sweeps the floor.<h3><div><span class="font2">//No matter how much I clean, I will always have to clean again tomorrow. And no matter how much I try to feel better, I will always have to just keep trying, and trying. I've been losing my will to live with each tomorrow.//</span></div> </h3>She hears the pot [[boiling]].
<<audio "eventhorizon3" fadein>>
In the meantime she selects the sharpest [[knife]], feeling the weight in her hand.<h3><div><span class="font2">//There's something so enticing about being able to slice into myself and feel the life leave my body. I'll be slipping into a warm pleasant dream as my toxic blood pools around me.//</span></div> </h3>Looking at her hands she is reminded of her [[late mother]] teaching her how to read and write. Before they left to find <strike>prosperity</strike> tragedy in the wild west.
Then she steps into the bath. Letting her thin white arms float above the water [[for a moment]].
<<audio "eventhorizon3" fadeout>>
She pours the steaming water into the tub, allowing it to cool [[a short while]].
She died of dysentery while they had been trekking across the country, it was revolting and smelled putrid.<h3><div><span class="font2">//Mother had no control over her dismal end, whereas as I wield my own destiny in the blade of my [[knife]]. The world may be a terrible meaningless place, full of wretches, but I take solace in the knowledge soon I will no longer be a part of this insufferable realm.//</span></div></h3>
<<audio "eventhorizon3" fadeout>>
And so he convinced his mother to see that the marriage still be seen through. She was enraged, as she always seems to be about something or other, but she loved her son and spoiled him, so she would see that [[he got what he wanted]].
After her father killed himself too, her little sister was in no position to say no, with no one to support her. Her choice was to become [[his wife]], or become [[destitute]].
<<audio "drownedsines3" fadeout>>
In the end he was rather pleased, they way it had all worked out. He had wed the younger more beautiful vital sister and spent his life trying to acquire fine things to please her.
Despite his best efforts, neither of them were ever really happy in the marriage though it was the best he had ever known.
<<audio "eventhorizon5" fadeout>>
The silly young thing refused his proposal.
He was overwhelmed by guilt unable to honor his late fiancé, by devoting his life to care for the last of her family. He was haunted by dreams of her, so eventually he [[found]] her younger sister.
Penniless and homeless, she had to resort to earning a living working in the world's oldest profession. So he kissed her little sister. And kissed her and kissed her until and found solace in her.
<<audio "eventhorizon5" fadeout>>
<h3><div><span class="font2">//"This too shall pass" is a phrase my father is fond of saying, when this mine, that became the quarry closed down putting father out of work, it was all he would say about it.
He isn't as stoic as he lets on. I hope for his sake, he will understand. My memory and his grief, too shall pass.//</span></div></h3>She peers into a section of the water clear enough you can see nearly all the way down. Only as far as [[the light touches]].
<<audio "sunglitters" fadeout>>
Leading the ducklings back to their coop. She looks off at the thicket behind the house, at the tree's and thornbushes tangled together. Somewhere out in that thicket is a tree swing her and her sister used to play on.<h3><div><span class="font2">//I always loved our little tree swing, something so soothing in the swaying. Wouldn't it be lovely to have my neck snap swiftly, swaying away in the breeze as I fade into blissful oblivion.//</span></div></h3> She heads toward the [[woodshed]].