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A small room with stagnant air is where you are right now. You're thinking, two thoughts cross your mind initally. [[What is this|what]]. What am I [[doing here|where]]?[[I|them]] wanted to tell [[you|me]] something. Thats why [[you're|me]] here. [[I|them]] have something to tell [[you|me]].This is [[my|them]] space. [[You|me]] came here to hear something from [[me|them]].I am someone you know, I wanted you to see this. [[You|me]] might be [[Chris|chris]], [[Atlas|atlas]], or someone else I meet in the [[future|future]]. This is an important game. Its about my [[precious|precious]] <<cyclinglink "friends" "feelings" "love for you">>.Chris is a [[special person|precious]]. You might be Chris. That could be why you clicked on that name. I care about you with my entire being, I [[love|love]] you <<cyclinglink "so much" "so very much" "so much it hurts">>. I cant explain it alot of the time, I have problems with words. So I work on projects without telling you, I make games like this with lots of my time. I have made countless games pouring out how much I love you and how all the bad things you do line up with all the good things you do and make you the perfect, <<hoverlink "chris" "flawed" "flawed (but not really)">> but amazing being you are. You are Chris. I can't explain it to anyone else in any words other than that. You are my [[future|future]].Atlas, the [[precious|precious]] little gay plant boy. He enjoys [[surrealism|surrealism]], art, and gum. I spend alot of time with him, because he is the only person who doesn't get annoyed with me. Atlas doesn't get angry at me. He's what makes me [[look forward|future]] to school.The [[time|time]] that is ahead of us, the [[time|time]] that we haven't had together yet, thats something we will not be able to predict. We can't know if everything will work out, but me must have [[hope|hope]]. We must [[love|love]] eachother.The most precious gem, is you. You're my most precious treasure. You're the reason I live, you're the reason I breathe, you're the reason I get out of bed in the morning. I truly care about you. I truly [[love|love]] you. I really value you higher than anything else, if only it really occured to you, you're the center of my universe. Right now, as I write this, I'm listening to you (and [[Ron|ron]]). You're addorable. You're so excited over your own things, you're so precious when you smile. When you laugh, when you're happy, even just for a second, and I get to witness a true angel. [[Thank you|thanks]]. [[Thank you|thanks]] for reading my feelings, [[Thank you|thanks]] for being around. [[Thank you|thanks]] for being here when I need you.Thank you for getting this far.
I love you.
☆
Do you want to [[look forward|future]]?Time is what slowly [[kills|dead]] everyone, in its own way. In time people can be repaired, or broken. [[Precious|precious]] people, I don't want time to affect them. I want them to stay [[that way|state]] as long as I know them. I [[love|love]] them too much for anything to happen to them. I [[love|love]] them unconditionally the way they are now.Its hard to write about hope when your only hope is a [[boy|boy]], and a [[hamster|kimiko]]. Nothing else really lights a fire in me, I only have enough energy for the two of them. I [[love|love]] them both [[dearly|precious]], so so [[dearly|precious]]. The [[boy|boy]] may be harder to deal with though, as he has [[his own life|state]], and my [[hamster|kimiko]] has only [[me|myself]].Is this surrealism? This <<cyclinglink "messy" "important">> web of passages, this <<cyclinglink "labyrinth" "household">> of writing, this <<cyclinglink "cove" "safe place">> of feelings. Does this <<cyclinglink "baffle anyone" "make anyone happy" "make anyone think">>? Is this <<cyclinglink "profound" "good">>?
Only my [[special|precious]] people will read this. If its art, its private art. You're one of my special people who gets to read this. In [[the future|future]], who knows if this will exist. I have no strong feelings for <<cyclinglink "Ron" "Jaye" "Maxie" "Almost Everyone">>.
I would rather think about [[our future|future]].Death, when our souls become part of the universe and shed their physical forms.
Nobody wants it to happen to their [[loved|love]] ones.
Especially <<cyclinglink "me" "you" "chris" "everyone">>.He isn't doing well, you aren't doing well. You are him, you are [[the boy|boy]]. You're having trouble with your household, your friends, your own feelings, your own coping mechanisms. Its all troublesome, and it makes you angry. [[I dont want you to be angry|dontangry]], please. Things you say to me are all I think about. When you get angry, my entire day is <<hoverlink "state" "self-hate" "furious, full out self destruction">> for making you mad. I want to help. I want to make everything [[better|better]], even though its so hard.Love is a <<cyclinglink "profound" "happy" "saddening" "confusing">> subject. Everyone feels differently about love, Love can make people <<cyclinglink "happy" "sad" "live" "die">>. Everyone <<cyclinglink "feels" "finds" "avoids">> it differently. You probably feel differently about it than [[me|myself]]. The boy I like is that way, [[he feels different|him]]ly than me.
How do you feel about love?
<<cyclinglink "I don't know" "I am in love" "I have never been in love" "I will never be in love" "Love disgusts me" "I long for true love" "I can't love">>
[[Continue|love2]]I like to write about this boy. This boy is someone I think about <<hoverlink "boy" "quite a bit" "so much its unhealthy and messes with my normal functions as a human being">>. This boy <<hoverlink "boy" "comforts me sweetly till I can fall asleep on bad nights" "bothers me so much I cant sleep">>, but also makes me feel so [[loved|love]] and happy I could cry. This boy makes me want to <<cyclinglink "fuck myself up forever" "fuck me up forever fam">>, but also makes me want to [[make everything better|better]].My small hamster, my [[precious|precious]] daughter. I am a tired hamster dad. I have [[love|love]] for my daughter at all times.He's [[precious|precious]], my [[precious|precious]] boy. He means so much to me. I want to be with him till the [[end|end]].I am something thats hard to understand, I cant understand myself. I have plenty of problems that I dont hide, I dont deny, but I still dont understand why I do what I do. I dont understand why I made this game. I dont know why I dragged it out so long, If things are better, they will be <<cyclinglink "better" "ok" "good" "great">>. We need them to be that way. Or else important relationships can crumble. If things arent better, [[love|love]] can't help us. We don't want those things to happen, they're not good. If things go like that, important things will [[end|end]]. We are going to [[keep going|keepg]].Don't be angry, Don't be angry, please. I beg of you.
I [[love|love]] you <<cyclinglink "so much" "so so much" "so much its hard to express" "so much its impossible to express" "so much it hurts">>.
☆
[[End|end]] <<cyclinglink "?" "...no, not yet">>Well you did it. You read through that, who knows what path you took and what feelings of mine you saw. [[Thank you|thanku]]. You can stop here, or you can [[start again|Start]]. And its ok to feel that way. The way you feel is important, you need to acknowledge it. Your feelings remind me of [[his|him]] feelings. Its possible that you are him, but I can't know. At least, I think he would want to reach [[the end|end]] by now. He wouldn't want to [[keep going|keepg]] through this <<cyclinglink "messy" "genuine">> map of feelings.So you want to keep going? You want to hear more of this drabble? well... I appreciate the thought, but I'm so tired, my feelings make me tired before I can do anything. I try to let them out to keep it from happening but they come back. Sorry you have to read this mess. You can go to the [[end|end]], if thats what you're searching for.Thank you, Thank you so much. I love you.Before we start, you need to know how this game will work.
[[Blue text|tutorial2]] will bring you to another page. (click on it)Sometimes you'll see <<cyclinglink "thin blue text" "thats me!">>, clicking on it changes the text.
[[Next|tutorial3]]Some text will try to <<hoverlink "tutorial3" "trick you" "(aha! got you!)">> into thinking its a link to another page.
[[Next|tutorial4]]Thats all! Now its time for you to [[start|Start]] the game!
Just remember that different words bring you to different places, and you'll reach the end soon enough!Have you played a twine game before?
[[Yes (skip tutorial)|Start]] [[No|tutorial1]]You are you, you're your own individual person. You mean [[something important|precious]] to [[me|them]], that's why you got to read this. [[I|them]] sent you this for a reason, it's hard to tell what reason, but there is one. Maybe you will hear about it in the [[future|future]].