Sugarcane

\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n.goodbye

with marks adorning my body\nteeth run the length of my arms\nneck and\ntorso \nribbons of violent vigor\ni \n[[mask|anger]]\nhow i hunt and feed off you\n\nin the silent fields of these sheets\nyou may believe\nthat i never\nnever\n[[was hungry|the lie]]

i am hot. \nfire in my lungs \nwords are ash.\n\nmarrow grinds in my bones. \ni don't know who you is. if you look at me\ni'll burn\n\nevery cell.\n[[aching to be your sun.|sun]]

we are \nthe spaces between the\nletters that make up\n\n[[y o u|you]] \n\nand\n\n[[m e|me]]\n

because no matter\nwhat we do\nlife tends to happen to\noccur\n\nbecause no matter\ncan patch intagibles\nor mend pieced emotion\n\nbecause no matter\nis without an anti mirror\nbecause there \nis \nno m e\nwithout y o u.\n\n[["we are."|we are]]

i want to be [[infinite|love x infinity]] \nbe beyond measure restriction\ncapacity that\nthey tell me is \n\ncorrect\n\nforget it. forget myself\nin t a n g l e d anonymous limbs\n\n

and i stopped\nlooking for the monster when \ni found it \n[[inside us|center]]. \n\nand we put down our\nmasks \npicked each other's persona's\n\n[[ate each other alive.|eat me]]

you told me\non a winter afternoon\nwhen the sun\nhad breathed slowly soft \ndaylight\n\nthat my hands\nhad always been \n[[allowed|will]] \n\nonly had i not feared\nto tread \non the passage to\n\nthat [[corrupting heat|hunger]]\nthat maddened me\nwould i have been absolved\nby the [[pleasure|hedonist]]\n[[we|you]] would sure find.

[[you|you4]]\nsurely you didn't expect it?\n\nlike those swans crossing sunlit \nrippled garden memories\nwe entangled our \nnecks\n\nyou whispered then\n"you make me bashful"\nand i warmed you with hands tied\ntongue held back\nteeth \nquiet\n\n"dangerous"\nyou utter now\nmy fangs caressing\nthe blood along your neck\n\nyou leave me wanting more\nbut tonight\nis only a night\ni'll leave you until \nthe [[moon cracks|moon]] howls across the harvest sky\n[[until my blood boils|input/output5]]

we are\nthe spaces filled\nwith empty\n\nthe trace of\nheat length touch wet fingers\nsex and \nbroken m i n d\n\nsubmerged. "take\nme," we utter across\nnoise and liquor\nacross the \nother slaves\nof god\n\npull closer, we utter\nnibble in the ear\n[["come home with me."|spaces]]

do you understand\nunderstand\nunderstand\nunderstand\n[[the concept of love|the concept of love]]?\n\n

like a revolution\nsunset is upon me\nchasing me from summers to winters\n\nevery time i dare\nto glance back\ni glimpse\nsomething of befores \ncomforts past \nthe idea of what [["i"|me]] am\n\nand my radio plays:\n\nyou're going to see me run soon\nyou're going to know why I'm running then\n[[you'll know then.|spaces]]

why do i keep\nreturning to this moon?\n\nthe gravity \npulls me tidal rising\neyes wide with [[the hunger|hunger]]\nmouth wet with [[the lie|the lie]]\n\ni want burrow\nenter this cave tracing\nthe ridges and peaks\nwith my furious stone.\n\nanimal.

every kiss\nwe have breathed\nwe eat with our [[mistakes|mistakes]]\n\ni drink ghosts in\ndreams that recall a shade\nof you\nothers waiting as\ni speak to you through\nempty tv channels.\n\nthe memory of an event that never happened\nbleeds warm color\nnoise to signal chatter through\ncathode rays\n\n[[we|we are]]\nare [[hot.|input/output5]]

we are.

were \nkind\n[[unsure|uncertainty]]\n[[willing|will]]\n\nto be all that [[i|me]] would push \n[[you|you2]] to be\n\nyou were\nthe breathe and disheveled\npigtail\nthat whispered:\n[["show me your passion".|you2]]\n\nyou are \n[[the guilt|the guilt]]\nthat brought [[me|me]] to [[today|me today]]\nto a [[philosopher of lust|hedonist]]\n\nwe would go anywhere \nfor a [[kiss|kiss]]\n\ni wrote to you once\n[["i don't even know who you are."|input/output5]]\n\nbut every dress you \nown is a [[loaded gun|you3]].\nlike [[the guilt|the guilt]] on our triggers, \ni want to pull and push thrust\ndeep

forget the [[guilt|the guilt]]\nthe [[crosses|hedonist]] that \nhave become our \ns p l i n t e r e d\nscars

are you [[trouble|trouble]] or are you\n[[okay|you5]]?

we are\npleasures\n\nfingers entrapped and mouths\nthat form entrances to \nwhat some may call the\nentrance to hell\n\n[[we descend|you5]]\ninto shade flicker mirrors \ncrosses strapped to our backs\nour backs strapped to crosses\n\nlet's exhale \ntrains and rattling \n[[tracks|tracks]]\nlike spines of scars running the length\nof traced pleasure\n\nand trouble.\nyou are [[my Lady|Lady]].

you left in me in the manner that i came to you\nrunning from one\nto the other.\n\nwe left only silence for the other. i \ncannot tell you how many times \ni spoke to you unspeakable \nwords\n\nhow many times \ni spoke\nempty lines? [[hatred?|anger]]\n\nyou are "his", at least, i believe so. \nmaybe one day, you'll remind me why\nwe weren't a \n[[mistake.|mistakes]]

i told you that great lie\nthat i could\nfend off that beast\n\nonly \nand as always only\nyou could see it [[tear my skin|anger]]\nin midnight's\nnew years when i had been\n[[deprived|hunger]] \n\nof the you i fed on. \n[[give in.|center]]

which tracks?\nthe lifeblood to my home?\nconnected distance to [[lovers long gone|you3]]?\n\nor the veins of my foreign birth\ndiscovered in weeks\nplaces \nand [[mistakes|mistakes]]?\n\n

i cannot describe\nexactly who you are\nbecause\ntoday you have become someone else\n\ni wish i knew you now\nlike i knew you\nthen\nbut guilt and\ntime\nhave seen fit to seperate you into\n[[two|us]] [[people|them]]

how many \nhave i stepped on?\n\ni am incarnate\nof mistakes that \n[[i am now|me today]]\n\ni am eyes\ndowncast into a\nwell of \n[[mistakes|mistakes]]\nwell, who\nknew \n\n[[i'd break so many hearts?|broken hearts]]

meet me in the space\nwhere our lips graze push pull\nand fit\nwhere our lungs give up \nlife\nto fill our s p a c e\n\nwith:\n\nwarm uncertain\ndesire aggression cut from the worst expression\nmischievous want unchecked more \nmore\nmore\n\nmore.\n\nhedonist past lover. connected hands aching with lungs\nof infinite\ndisappearing\n\nbreathe twice:\ntake in the night\nmoon\n[[trouble.|trouble]]\nit's dangerous\n\n[[faded,|you7]] \ntake the animal curiosity \nwrite it on our bodies\nour makeshift tribe?\n\nkiss. kiss. \nKISS.\nkiss. kiss\n\nkiss breathe.\n[["your tongue is like poison."|you4]]

we were \nthe spaces between\n\n[[p h i l o s o p h y|love x infinity]]\nand \n[[t a u t o l o gy|center]]\n\nframing everything she \n[[taught me|you5]]

our rendevous was \nbrief \ni admit.\n\na convenience for the [[hunger|hunger]].\n\nwe played, sang\n"master and servant" and i\n[[pretended|the lie]] that i was the \none in control.\n\n

how is it\nthat you found me\nreally?\n\ni don't think\ni'll ever now\nas you\nleft as quickly as you appeared\n\nand you wrote in \nscars on my mind and\ni spoke \nthe words:\n\n"bend the cage of heart apart\nsnap the marrow of bars of bone\nslide in between sacs\n[[of breath and blood|center]]"\n\nyou left a red soaked cavity\ntraced your fingers with scarlet life\n\nbut now i am \n[[i n v i s i b l e|invisible]]\nhark!ethereal \n[[positive|add]], a\nghost [[negative|subtract]]\n\nwas I \n[[mistaken|mistakes]]?

we were\nshadows in each other's mess\ncomforts in \nhung the night class in\n[[unexpected|trouble]]\nconnection \n\nwe enjoyed silence as we waiting\nfor the night to fall \nthe aroma of music beaches \nand smoke fire \nsweet like kindred midnight air\n\nso unlike [[her|you3]]\nyou are a revolver \nloaded.\ni spin the chamber and point\nyou to my temple\nworship. pray. \nhope for an empty\n\nfemme fatale, i tell \nyou\nelegant drug\n\ni want to inject you in\nto my blood\npull the trigger \n\n[[*click*|blind]]

fixated we breathe\ninfinite bitter\nwinds of change\nfixated\n\nwe speak\nevery language in\na hope that one of them will \nMAKE \nyou understand.\n\nwe await a call \ntonight.\nyour voice tellling us:\n\n"we are right.\nwe cannot be [[mistaken|mistakes]]."

we consumed summer\nlike nocturnal lovers\nyet to be\ni slept deep in\nwaters of the words you left eternity\n\npassions unmend\nwith uncertainty, words\nnot realized with\nchords vocal or \n[[otherwise|you3]]\n\n

body { background-color: white }\ndiv { color:black; }

i am\nan anxiety \nto myself\n\nan [[anxiety|anxiety]] of \npassion\nof\nruinous [[hunger|hunger]]\n\ni am \nmissing a\nhunter's teeth\n\nmy bites are shallow\nmy hands\nare polite\nbut\nmy mind is awash \nin lurid absolute sensation\n\ngive it time\nfeed me [[todays|me today]]

if i woke up one day\nfound the \nworld without [[color|uncolored]] \n\nwould the pressure \nstop eating the surface \nof my skin?\n\nif i \nadmitted to every \none that\nthe s p a c e\noccupying between my lungs and \nchest \nwas [[infinite|love x infinity]]\nwould those eyes \nstiffen\nstare\n\nor accuse? can i\nheal the [[hunger|hunger]] or\nmend the [[bared knuckles|anger]]\nbetween sin and \nsolitude?\n\nor...\nwould my color\nfade \nso beyond [[faded,|you7]] i\nwould let all light\n[[pass right through?|invisible]]\n\nshow me how \nto hide the [[voice in my head|me]]

this \nis what you really are\n[[she|you]] taught me.\n\na monster.\nselfish, weak, [[lashing|anger]]\nout\na [[heathen|hedonist]]\nlover of the [[infinite|love x infinity]]\n\nsomething beyond\nthe words we shared\n\nyou looked at me with unbound\nunrelenting \nenclosing distance\n\n"they call it a heart." you said\nthey call it many things,\nthis snapped calcium \nrod\n[[crystal|broken hearts]], [[transparent|invisible]]\n\nand baring it you spoke, \nyou said of\ncourse:\n\n[["eat me."|eat me]]\n

i never used\nto worry\nabout what the title\ngiven meant\nto the world\n\nuntil\n\ni walked through the echelon \nmy middle seemed\nclassical indefinite title\nstreet rat this\nplace called\n\neat your heathen rhythms\nconsume your\nsin \nelsewhere\n\n[[this was a mistake.|mistakes]]

click teeth\nlick our\neyes \nmirrorside heat\nfrosted\n\ntracing the scene of passion in\nhaze memories\n\nour masks are\n[[fracturing|broken hearts]] crystal castles of glass,\nwe cannot wear\naround each other\n\nwe need them to put on\nfor [[tomorrow night|mistakes]].

because we didn't\nknow\nwho i was\nwe were never close \nenough to move on\n\nit's not for me [[i answered|you2]]\ni want you [[you replied|hunger]]\n\nit's not for me [[you answered|you7]]\ni want you [[i replied|hunger]]\n\nremember\nwe are both \n[[vampires now|you2]]

with eyes wide shut\ni peered at\nwhat i was making you become.\nwhat\nwas i making you become?\n\nwere you nothing more \nthan a fantasy, now\nor?\n\nwhy was i so [[afraid,|fear]] after \nyou gave me so\nmuch of your\nself\nso much of your courage\nunafraid to...\n\ni pushed too far, i \n[[kissed too|kiss]] \n[[long|kiss]]\n\ni needed you \nto be \nmore than i \ndeserved. you were\n[[beyond a waste|eat me]] i \nthought\n\nbeyond a [[mistake.|mistakes]]\n[[or...?|broken hearts]]\n\n\n

didn't i ask \ntoo much of you\n\nor did i \nnot ask\nnearly enough?\n\ni was as [[afraid|fear]] as you were\ni was as\n[[afraid|fear]] as

return\nto\n\nthe spaces between the\nletters that make up\n\n[[y o u|you]] \n\nand\n\n[[m e|me]]\n

omar elaasar

because when we\ncall upon words\nto stack piece\nand perform they sliver \n[[in between the molecules|center]] and\ndischarge poetry\n\nmagnetic \n+plus -minus\n\nbut do broken hearts,\n[[add|add]] or [[subtract|subtract]]?\n

and i\nam to be divided beyond\nthe means i have to \nreplicate\n\nreplicate \n\ni didn't see [[you|you3]] the\nfirst time, did \nI?\n\nor the second, or third. \ni don't know if i am invisible, \nreally\nor simply [[blind.|blind]]